Section I, Next Section
On Friday morning, Elizabeth walked out very early, her mind unable to fix on anything other than the events of the previous evening. She recalled the tenderness of Mr. Darcy's address to her, and began to feel compassion for the suffering he must now endure. She began to wonder if she had been overly harsh in her expressions of rejection and disapproval. Yet, further review of the encounter recalled to her his offensive manner of expression and she could not feel sorry for him. She was certain that his feelings of disapproval would soon overcome his regard, and he would in short order be thankful for having escaped the fate that would otherwise have been secured by his imprudent and foolish application. Elizabeth knew that his expressions of affection had been sincere, and she could not reconcile those feelings with his apparent abhorrence with the idea of allying himself to her. She puzzled over this circumstance at length and then gave over her efforts.
When Elizabeth returned to the house after wandering the groves for above an hour, she found Mr. and Mrs. Collins, with grim expressions, engaged in what appeared to be a very serious discourse in the hall. Her object was to walk quietly past them to her room, so as not to disturb them, but Charlotte called to her.
"Yes, Charlotte?" she said, stopping to face her friend.
Charlotte, glancing at her husband, replied, "we have just received unhappy news from Rosings."
Mr. Collins looked as if he was about to interrupt her when she held up her hand and said, "my dear, Lady Catherine is awaiting you. I will join you at Rosings directly."
Mr. Collins left the room and then the house as speedily as he could manage, leaving the two ladies alone. "What is it Charlotte," asked Elizabeth with concern.
"It is Mr. Darcy. He took a fall from his horse last night and has injured his head." Elizabeth gasped. "It seems he was out riding very late. He left us after dinner last evening, and had still not returned before we departed the house. Apparently Colonel Fitzwilliam awaited him for several hours and when he did not arrive, he went to look for him and found him lying on the ground in the woods. Colonel Fitzwilliam could not explain why Mr. Darcy would ride through the woods in the dark. It was rather reckless of him."
Elizabeth sank into the nearest chair and said, with affected calmness, "How is he?"
"He has not yet awoken. The apothecary has seen him and Lady Catherine has sent to London for a doctor and for Miss Darcy. They will arrive this evening. Mr. Simmons believes the situation to be very grave and has said that everything now depends upon how soon Mr. Darcy awakens. Only then can the extent of the injury to his head be determined."
Elizabeth was overwhelmed with this news, and was rendered speechless. Charlotte continued, "Do you wish to come to Rosings with me? Maria has decided to stay at home, she had just gone out into the garden a moment before you returned."
"I believe that my presence can bring no consolation or aid to those at Rosings, I would only be in the way. I will remain here, but I beg you would send word if there is anything I can do."
"Of course," replied Charlotte, before departing the house to follow her husband.
Elizabeth spent the entire day in restless meditations. She could not sit still with her work, nor could she be of company to Maria for very long. She spent much of her day outdoors but no matter what her occupation she could not turn her mind from Mr. Darcy. She was deeply oppressed with feelings of guilt and remorse. She reproached herself again and again for having allowed herself to be ruled by anger, and by expressing her rejection of the man in terms so vehement that he was driven to behave irrationally.
How could she have believed that his disapproval of his own feelings would have tempered their passion enough to shield him from being pained by her bitter words? She had witnessed the strength of his feelings in his look, in his words and in his very manner. They had been fervent enough to overcome his own objections which he had dwelt on which such warmth, had he not said so himself? Feelings such as those cannot easily withstand such intemperate acrimony as she had unleashed upon him. Why had she not been more reserved in her expressions? Every review of her words and actions the night before brought on a greater tumult of shame and mortification.
On Friday evening, the Collinses returned with the news that Mr. Darcy's condition was unchanged, and that the doctor and Miss Darcy had arrived from London. On Saturday, they left the house very early again. Elizabeth was determined to direct her thoughts more productively than she had the day before. She did not believe she could endure dwelling further on her own culpability for Mr. Darcy's situation. Instead, she bent her thoughts towards his recovery, offering prayers that he would soon be out of danger.
As she rambled through the park in the early afternoon, Elizabeth was surprised to encounter Colonel Fitzwilliam. "Miss Bennet," he said in an agitated voice.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, how does your cousin? Has his condition improved at all."
He looked at her intently for a moment and answered, "We have reason to hope he will improve. Early this morning, when Miss Darcy and I were sitting with him, he began to stir and we thought he would awaken. He uttered but a single word and then fell back into a deep sleep, from which we were unable to awaken him."
Elizabeth was elated by this small glimmer of hope as it brought her some relief from her guilt. Her companion, though, may have misinterpreted the reason for her apparent joy. "This is good news, surely, is it not? What said the doctor?"
"The doctor is hopeful. He believes my cousin may awaken fully today. There is something which we believe may help Darcy to return to us."
"Then I hope the doctor's efforts will be successful."
"I have sought you out purposely to ask for your assistance in the matter."
"I will be happy to do anything I can to bring about Mr. Darcy's recovery, but I do not see what assistance I could possibly render."
"Miss Bennet, can I not prevail upon you to return to the house with me and see him."
"That is an odd request, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and I wonder what would cause you to seek out me, of all people, to visit your cousin. But, it would hardly be proper for me to enter Mr. Darcy's sick room, and," she hesitated a moment, "I do not believe my presence would bring him any comfort."
Colonel Fitzwilliam sighed heavily and replied, "Miss Bennet, you should know that the one word Darcy said today was 'Elizabeth.'"
Elizabeth looked at him sharply when this disclosure was made. His eyes, betraying worry and lack of sleep, were pleading with her. At last she replied, "I believe you must have formed a mistaken impression, Colonel Fitzwilliam. You must believe that if there was anything I could do for your cousin, I would, but I know that my presence in his company would have the opposite effect of the one you hope for."
"Is there nothing I can say to convince you otherwise?"
"I would not wish to be responsible for his condition becoming worse. I believe his chances of recovery are far greater if I stay away from Rosings altogether."
"I see," said Colonel Fitzwilliam before he took his leave and walked away.
About an hour later, Elizabeth and Miss Lucas were in the drawing room. The former continued to be plagued with agitating thoughts as she attempted to concentrate on her work. When the arrival of a carriage was heard, she hoped that whoever it was would bring good news. Soon, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy were announced.
Colonel Fitzwilliam introduced Miss Darcy to the ladies and then asked Miss Lucas to walk in the garden with him. When they were alone, Miss Darcy looked timidly at Elizabeth.
Elizabeth tried to begin a conversation, "Miss Darcy, I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. I have heard a great deal about you." She paused, then said, "I am so sorry to hear of your brother's unfortunate accident. I hope that he will improve soon."
"Thank you," she muttered quietly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then, summoning up her courage, she added, "I am very happy to meet you as well. I have been wishing it for some time. My brother has spoken very highly of you."
Miss Darcy spoke as if it took the greatest effort to string these words together. Elizabeth began to perceive that the girl was exceedingly shy, and whatever her purpose in coming here, it must be an important one for it had quite clearly taken the utmost courage for her to do so. Elizabeth was surprised to learn that Mr. Darcy had spoken of her to his sister and she began to wonder whether he had confessed the full extent of his regard to her.
"I only wish we could have met under more happy circumstances."
"As do I," replied Miss Darcy. Then, after a pause and a deep breath she said, "I have come here to beg you to reconsider your decision not to see him," with a rapidity that showed her desire to be done with her speech.
"Miss Darcy," said Elizabeth, with compassion for the poor girl, "I would do anything in my power to speed his recovery, but I truly believe that my presence would do him more harm than good. I am afraid that we did not part on friendly terms when we last spoke."
Miss Darcy was again silent for a long moment, and appeared as if she was enduring an internal struggle. At length she said, her voice trembling, "Miss Bennet, may I speak frankly?"
"Of course."
"I do not know what is or is not between you and my brother, but I do know that after a day and two nights without so much as stirring, he awoke and spoke your name this morning, of all words that he might have uttered. I cannot help but believe that thoughts of you must be occupying his mind. If that is the case, then there is a possibility that you can reach him. He has always done so much for me, and now, in his time of need, I am powerless to help him. There is nothing I can do but persuade you to see him. You are our only hope, Miss Bennet, will you not try, will you not come and speak to him?"
By now tears were falling down Miss Darcy's cheeks. Her plea was so earnest and her affection for her brother so sincere, that Elizabeth could not help but be moved. Elizabeth took Miss Darcy's hand and said, "very well, I will try."
Miss Darcy smiled and began wiping the tears from her face. Elizabeth left her to compose herself while she sought out Colonel Fitzwilliam in the garden. When he saw her she could perceive the unspoken question in his gaze. She answered it by saying, "it seems that I am to return to Rosings with you and Miss Darcy, sir."
The short ride to Rosings was passed in virtual silence. Elizabeth was anticipating her visit to Mr. Darcy with some anxiety, while the other two occupants of the carriage could not help themselves from wondering what must have passed between Darcy and Elizabeth.
When they arrived at Rosings, they did not go to the drawing room, where Lady Catherine and her daughter sat with the Collinses. Instead, Colonel Fitzwilliam escorted the ladies directly to the sick room. When Elizabeth entered it, she was arrested by the sight of Mr. Darcy. He appeared weak and pale, only a shadow of the dignified man she knew him to be. His head was bandaged, and he lay still with his eyes closed. The doctor was seated next to him and upon seeing the others, he rose. After the doctor and Elizabeth were introduced, the gentlemen left the room. Miss Darcy sat down in the chair furthest from the bed, in a corner of the room and took up some sewing, giving Elizabeth a last hopeful look.
Elizabeth sat down in the chair next to the bed. At first she was too embarrassed to speak with Miss Darcy present, but she knew she must say something if the patient was to learn of her presence at his bedside. "Mr. Darcy," she whispered, "it is me, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Your sister and your cousin asked me to come visit you. It seems that you have injured yourself." She glanced toward Miss Darcy who seemed not to be attending her. "Will you not wake up, Mr. Darcy? Your family are all here waiting quite anxiously for you to return to them. Please, sir, try to awaken."
There was no response. Elizabeth continued to talk about the weather and how much she had enjoyed meeting Miss Darcy, but Mr. Darcy did not stir. After some time, Elizabeth said, "Miss Darcy, this is not helping, I believe I must go."
Miss Darcy arose and moved to her brother's side. Elizabeth watched as she took his hand in hers and touched his face. "Dearest brother," she said with such tenderness and affection that Elizabeth could not help believe must have been inspired by a worthy man, "Miss Bennet has come to see you. Will you not awaken and speak to her?" There was no response. Then, coming around to the other side of the bed she spoke to Elizabeth, "please stay a little longer, I will go order some tea for us."
When Miss Darcy had left the room, Elizabeth looked at the patient. What could she do? She remembered Miss Darcy's tender expressions and her easy manner of touching him. Elizabeth looked at Darcy's face and then his hand. She glanced to the door, and then tentatively placed her hand in his. She then stood and leaned over his face. "Mr. Darcy, it is Elizabeth, will you please wake up and speak to me?"
She felt him exert a small amount of pressure on her hand and, encouraged, she placed her other hand over his and smiled. "Mr. Darcy, I know you wish to awaken. Your family have been very worried for you. Miss Darcy quite clearly adores you and she is sick with grief. Will you not awaken and reassure her that you will be well?"
He began to stir and moved his lips to form the word "Elizabeth," though no sound could be heard from him.
"Yes, it is Elizabeth," she said, hoping he would awaken.
"Elizabeth," he said again, with more clarity.
"Yes," she replied, laughing lightly with the joy of success and of shedding at least some of her burden of guilt.
He opened his eyes the next moment and when he beheld her he smiled. "You are here," he whispered hoarsely. She was somewhat relieved, she had not known what reaction to expect from him when he saw her. She half expected him to order her out of his room in anger.
"Yes, I am here," she replied, turning away with the intent of informing the others that he was awake. She made a gentle effort to withdraw her hand, but he held it tightly. She was surprised, but remembering that he had once awoken only to fall back into a deep sleep and not wishing to risk it again, she simply looked back at him."
"May I please have some water?" he asked.
"Yes, of course," she said hastily pouring a glass of water from the pitcher on the table near his bed.
He raised a quivering hand to reach for the glass, but she helped guide it to his mouth. When he was finished, she returned the glass to the table. He thanked her as she sat back down in the chair. He turned his head, following her with his eyes, when she moved to sit down. When she was settled in the chair, she met his gaze. "I had a terrible dream," he whispered.
"What was it about?"
"I dreamed that you and I had a fierce quarrel. And, . . ." he hesitated, "that you despised me."
She was filled with sorrow and compassion, but could not speak.
"But you are here now and I am much relieved," he finally added.
"I am sure you will recover completely, now that you are awake."
"How long have I been otherwise?"
"Nearly two full days."
"What happened to me, Elizabeth?"
She was surprised by his persistence in addressing her informally, but replied, "you fell off your horse and injured your head. Do you have no recollection of it at all?"
"No. I fear I have forgotten a great many things. Some of them, I am sure, I would prefer to remember," he said, giving her an apologetic look.
She reflected that it might be best that some of his memories remain forgotten. "Perhaps you may still recall them," she said. "Please allow me to tell the others the good news that you have awoken. I am sure your family will wish to be with you."
As she arose to exit the room, he said, "thank you, Elizabeth."
She left the room to find the doctor, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Miss Darcy in the adjacent sitting room. "He is awake," she said, wondering why Miss Darcy had not returned to the room.
"Yes," replied Colonel Fitzwilliam with a grateful smile, as the doctor stood to go and examine his patient, "Georgiana saw you speaking to him."
"Why did you not come in?" asked Elizabeth, turning to Miss Darcy.
Miss Darcy blushed lightly as she replied, "Please forgive me. I intended to return to you, but when I saw you talking from the doorway, I thought he might like a moment with you."
Colonel Fitzwilliam left the room to give his aunt the good news. When he returned, Lady Catherine and Miss De Bourgh were with him. The former looked at Elizabeth, who was still talking to Miss Darcy, with surprise when she entered the sitting room, but moved purposefully towards the bedroom door without speaking. Colonel Fitzwilliam stopped her, explaining that she should wait for the doctor to conclude his examination of Mr. Darcy before entering. When the doctor reappeared he reported that the patient was as well as could possibly be expected.
Some time after Lady Catherine had been admitted to the sick room, she emerged from it to profess that Darcy had awoken, that he looked well, and that she expected him to make a full recovery. Elizabeth wondered why Lady Catherine had bothered to send for a doctor. Then Lady Catherine continued, "Anne will remain with him until dinner. Let us return to the drawing room."
Elizabeth noticed that Miss Darcy looked at her with alarm when Lady Catherine spoke of Anne remaining with Darcy, but Elizabeth herself could not help but be amused by the great lady. They returned to the drawing room, where they remained until dinner. Miss De Bourgh did not return to the others until it was time for dinner. Lady Catherine had sent her carriage for Miss Lucas, and after tea it returned the entire Hunsford party to the parsonage together.
Elizabeth and Miss Darcy had become better acquainted during the course of the evening. Elizabeth found that she liked her new friend very much. Miss Darcy had been glowing the entire evening with the happiness caused by her brother's impending recovery. Miss de Bourgh, on the other hand, appeared the same as she always had. Elizabeth had finally had the opportunity of hearing Miss Darcy play, and was happy to find that her playing was as delightful as reputed.
Elizabeth was happy to see her friend still in good spirits in church on Sunday. After the service, the Hunsford party spoke briefly with the Rosings party and learned that Mr. Darcy continued to improve. While the others were talking, Elizabeth addressed Miss Darcy quietly, "I hope Mr. Darcy was well this morning?
"Yes, thank you."
"I am sorry that you did not have the opportunity to spend time with him after he awakened yesterday. I am afraid that by being there, I deprived you of his company in those first moments after he awoke."
"Oh do not be concerned, for I spent the entire evening with him after your party's departure. We spoke at length. He seems much like his old self."
Elizabeth smiled, "it must be a great relief to you to see his improvement."
"It is a great relief to all of us, I am sure."
After returning from church, the Collinses went immediately to Rosings, and Elizabeth remained behind with Miss Lucas.
Later in the day Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam called on Elizabeth. The former's acknowledged purpose was to thank her properly for bringing her brother back to her. After they had been speaking for a few minutes, Miss Darcy ventured further, "he was disappointed not to have the pleasure of your company again today."
"I am sorry, Miss Darcy, I simply do not feel that I should be in his sick room."
Miss Darcy glanced at Colonel Fitzwilliam, who said, "he would very much like another visit and Miss Darcy would stay there with you. There would be no impropriety."
Elizabeth was going to decline to return to Rosings, but Miss Darcy's assurance, the next moment, that Elizabeth's presence would speed her brother's recovery recalled all of Elizabeth's feelings of guilt and remorse for having been the cause of his injury, and she consented.
Once again, upon entering the house, the three avoided meeting with its other inhabitants and repaired directly to the sick room. When Elizabeth entered the room, Darcy looked at her and smiled. "There you are," he said, looking at her affectionately, "I wondered what had become of you."
Miss Darcy took the same chair she had occupied the day before and Elizabeth sat in the one near the bed. As she did so, Mr. Darcy extended his hand to her. She hesitated for a moment and then placed her hand lightly in his. "You are looking very well today, sir."
"I am told that my looks are much improved, but my memory, I am afraid, still eludes me. I remember most things, about my life and my family, but I have had to ask questions of my relatives about some particulars. But there are some things that even they cannot help me to recall."
Elizabeth was surprised when Darcy drew her hand to his lips. She glanced at Miss Darcy, who was working diligently. Darcy smiled at her and said quietly, "I fear that I will not be well soon enough to travel to Hertfordshire. I am afraid I am going to have to write to your father instead."
Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. At first she did not know what to make of his words, but their implication did not elude her for long. She paled as she realized that she would have to tell him the truth. She would have to be the means of paining him all over again. She was about to speak, though she had little idea of what she would say, when she heard Lady Catherine's voice in the sitting room. She relinquished Darcy's hand immediately, and moved to exit the room as her Ladyship entered it.
"Miss Bennet, what a surprise to find you here," she said.
Miss Darcy intervened, and explained to her aunt that she had invited Elizabeth to come and sit with her. When Elizabeth returned through the sitting room, she acknowledged Colonel Fitzwilliam and then moved quickly into the corridor with the intent of leaving the house. Colonel Fitzwilliam, however, followed her, calling her name.
She stopped in the hall, and turned to face him. "What is the matter?" he asked her.
Elizabeth was hesitant to disclose her troubles. She was unaware of the extent of Colonel Fitzwilliam's knowledge regarding Mr. Darcy's affections, and had no desire to embarrass the latter by disclosing her rejection of his suit. If she said nothing, she could return tomorrow and correct Mr. Darcy, with no one else being the wise. Suddenly, though she considered that if Mr. Darcy believed himself to be engaged, he would not hesitate to tell all his family. It was at this moment that she finally understood the behavior of Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam, they believed that she and Darcy were engaged. If she waited until tomorrow, Mr. Darcy might tell his aunt, or worse yet, write to her father before she could stop him. Having resolved the Colonel Fitzwilliam must be under the misapprehension that she and Mr. Darcy were engaged, and realizing that while she would not be able to see Darcy again that evening, Colonel Fitzwilliam might be of some assistance to her, she said, "Mr. Darcy seems to believe, sir, that he and I are engaged."
Colonel Fitzwilliam's surprise was evident, "you are not?"
"How could you believe that we were? Did I not tell you when he was first injured, that I believed my presence would cause him pain?"
"Yes, but you could have been engaged and had a quarrel."
"We are not engaged, sir, though Mr. Darcy seems to believe that we are. Someone must tell him the truth. I suppose it shall have to be me. If it comes from anyone else, I believe it would bring him great embarrassment."
"No, I beg you would not tell him," he said with feeling.
"How can you ask me to allow him to remain deceived?"
"Miss Bennet, Mr. Darcy does indeed believe that he is engaged to you. I believed it as well until this moment, as he confided his feelings to me yesterday, and told me as much. He spoke of you in the highest terms. He obviously believes that he proposed and you accepted him, and that he simply does not remember it. You are not so pretentious as to insist on a formal proposal. What does it signify if there was not one? There is no harm in leaving things as they now stand."
When Elizabeth realized that Colonel Fitzwilliam assumed his cousin had not proposed and if he had she would have accepted him, she feared she could no longer avoid telling him the truth, as much as she loathed the idea. "Colonel Fitzwilliam, you assume too much. It is not that simple." She hoped he would not pursue the subject further.
"I do not understand why, . . ." he stopped suddenly as if struck with enlightenment, then said, "you mean you would refuse him?" She said nothing. "Or, you already have?" Still she was silent. "His dream . . . that was what really happened?"
"He told you of it?"
"He believed it to be a dream, but he did not give the particulars. He only said that in the dream he proposed to you, the two of you quarreled and that you said you despised him in rather vehement terms. If that is what truly occurred, then it must be the reason he was riding so recklessly."
"Yes, it is all my fault," she said as the feelings of guilt once again overtook her and the tears began to tumble down her cheeks.
"Miss Bennet, you cannot blame yourself."
"I was intemperate and I drove him to the irrational behavior that caused his current condition."
"Miss Bennet, my cousin is a grown man with his own mind. As you said not so long ago, he is a man of sense and education. He should have known better." Seeing that her tears were unabated, Colonel Fitzwilliam tried another tactic, "he would not have you blame yourself."
"Oh he would blame me if he could remember the truth, I am sure of it."
"He would not. He is not so ungenerous, and . . . he loves you." She said nothing. "Still, I cannot comprehend why he would choose to believe his memory to be a dream and believe further that something entirely different occurred that he cannot remember."
"Because when he awoke, I was standing at his bedside holding his hand! I was smiling to him, speaking to him, and I did not object when he addressed me by my Christian name! It is no wonder that he believes as he does, considering the nature of his injury. I knew I should not have gone to him."
"Please do not speak so, it is because of you that he finally awoke, Miss Bennet. His situation was grave, as you well know. As for your account of his understanding, I believe it is reasonable. He has forgotten other memories. It truly grieves him to believe he has forgotten your acceptance of his proposal."
"That is all the more reason I must set him to rights."
"Miss Bennet, I only beg you to wait until he is more fully recovered to tell him that you are not engaged. I do not think that his feelings could withstand such a blow in his present weakened state."
His words caused Elizabeth to think of what her rejection had already done to Darcy. She dreaded hurting him anew in such a way, particularly while he was injured. Nevertheless, she said, "I cannot go on as if I am engaged to him."
"You will be departing the country in only a few days. The doctor said that it is these first few days that are critical. He will be much stronger by the end of the week. Can you not allow him to be happy for a few days?"
The opportunity to bring Mr. Darcy some happiness was appealing to Elizabeth, as it would help assuage her own feelings of guilt. It was within her power to let him be happy for a brief time, would she withhold that power now? But would not his pain be all the more worse when he inevitably learned the truth? Finally, she replied, "he told me that he abhors disguise of every sort."
"That is true, but I am not asking you to deceive him. Merely to refrain from telling him that he is mistaken."
"But he has spoken of his plans to write to my father."
"I will ensure that he does not."
"That is very well, but if he continues to speak openly to me of our engagement then I will be guilty of deception by not correcting him. And there is nothing to prevent him from speaking of it to others." Her arguments were growing weak, her resolve was melting.
"Please Miss Bennet, I am only asking for you to give him a few days, to wait until Friday to tell him the truth."
At last she relented, "very well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, I will not tell him for now, but only because I would not wish to hinder his recovery. But you cannot expect me to be always coming here to sit with him. I could see that your aunt was very put out by my presence today."
''He will expect to see you. I hope that you will agree to spend some time with him. As for my aunt, please do not concern yourself with her."
"But what if Mr. Darcy tells her that we are engaged?"
"I do not think he would speak of it to anyone, especially Lady Catherine, until he has gained your father's consent. He has only told myself and Georgiana so far, but I will speak to him of it and make sure the news is not spread about. I will also have to speak to Georgiana, she will be very disappointed to learn the truth."
"I am truly sorry for that."
With that, Elizabeth took her leave of him and returned to the parsonage, after Colonel Fitzwilliam agreed that he would come and fetch her tomorrow as he had done the past two days. Elizabeth walked back with a heavy heart. She did not wish to carry on a deception, yet she felt she should spare Darcy from further pain while he was still recovering from his injury. She told herself that he would be able to bear the disappointment much better after his strength returned. She was in the uncomfortable position of not knowing what was the right thing to do.
For his part, Colonel Fitzwilliam was left to ponder what he had learned. He could not conceive of a reason any woman, particularly one with no fortune, family or connections, would reject the suit of his cousin. Darcy was wealthy and handsome, as well as honorable, sensible and generous. If Darcy's dream had been a memory of what had really occurred, then Miss Bennet despised Darcy, but why? He could not readily answer the question, but it remained in the back of his mind.
Elizabeth was working diligently in the parlour by herself on Monday, as Miss Lucas had gone to Rosings with the Collinses in the morning, when she heard a visitor at the door. She wondered why Colonel Fitzwilliam had come earlier than he had previously done and stood to greet him. A moment later, she was astonished to behold Mr. Bingley in front of her instead.
"Miss Bennet," he said, "what a pleasure it is to see you again. I cannot tell you how pleased I was to learn that you were in residence here."
"Mr. Bingley! I am happy to see you as well. May I assume that you have come to visit your friend?"
"Yes, I expected him in town on Saturday. I called at his home yesterday, after church, and was told by his housekeeper that Mr. Darcy had suffered an injury and that Miss Darcy had been sent to Rosings to be with him. I did not know whether his condition would permit him to attend his correspondence, so I had planned to have my sister write to his at Rosings today to inquire after him; but I received a letter from Colonel Fitzwilliam this morning, apologizing on Darcy's behalf, for not appearing in town as planned and explaining what had happened. I suppose I should have sent word ahead that I would call, but I simply decided to ride down here at that very moment." Here Elizabeth smiled as she recalled a conversation at Netherfield wherein Darcy had criticized Bingley for his propensity to drop everything and quit a place at a moment's notice if requested to do so by a friend. It was ironic that he had now done so for Darcy himself, without even being asked. Bingley continued, "Colonel Fitzwilliam has been kind enough to offer me a room at Rosings, though I do believe his aunt required some persuading to allow him to extend the invitation."
"I hope you found your friend well?"
"Yes, thank you, better than I expected. I do believe he will make a full recovery. His memory is not completely intact, but the doctor gives hope that he may yet recall everything."
Elizabeth secretly hoped, for Darcy's sake, that he might not regain some of his memories in particular. "And how have you been since we last met, sir? I hope you have spent a pleasant winter in town and that your sisters and brother are all well."
"Yes, thank you, we are all quite well. The winter was tolerable. I am most anxious to return to the country. Darcy had invited us to Pemberley this summer, but now with his injury, perhaps . . . well, our plans are not yet settled. And I do hope you have had a pleasant winter as well. It has been far too long since we last met. I do believe it has been nearly five months. Yes, since the ball at Netherfield on November 26th. That was such a pleasant evening."
"Indeed it was, sir."
"And how are your family, Miss Bennet? Are they all well?"
"Yes, they are all in very good health, I thank you."
"And your sisters, are all of them still at home?"
Elizabeth could perceive that he intended to ask after Jane in particular, which caused her to be surprised by his turn of phrase, since he knew her to be in London. "No indeed, sir, my sister Jane has been in town since January."
Bingley's surprise at this revelation was evident, "has she? I had no idea. I wonder that she did not write to Caroline and tell her of her presence in London. I had thought the two of them carried on a correspondence."
"She did write to your sister, sir. Jane even called on Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst at Grosvenor Street, and they returned the visit some three weeks later. I do recall Jane writing that Miss Bingley assured her that she had told you she was in town."
Bingley's eyes grew wide, "no, I had no knowledge of her being there at all."
"Perhaps Miss Bingley simply forgot to inform you."
This observation helped Bingley to remember himself and he said, "perhaps," as he sank back in his chair contemplatively.
A few moments later, while Elizabeth and Bingley were talking agreeably, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy were shown into the room once again. The former seemed surprised to find Mr. Bingley there. "Are you acquainted with Miss Bennet, Mr. Bingley?" asked Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"Yes, we met last fall in Hertfordshire, and have just renewed our acquaintance." A look of understanding crossed Colonel Fitzwilliam's features, as everything now fit together. His assumption was erroneous, but not too far off the mark.
For her part, Elizabeth took the opportunity to watch Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy together. When they greeted each other, she noted no look of understanding and no sign of partiality on either side. Yet, a few seconds of observing them together was hardly sufficient. She then turned to Mr. Bingley and said, "but how did you know I was here if Colonel Fitzwilliam did not tell you?"
She knew the answer before he spoke it. "It was Darcy who told me."
As the others entered into a pleasant conversation, Colonel Fitzwilliam struggled with his thoughts. He began to suspect that Miss Bennet was the very woman who had been attached to Bingley until Darcy had parted them, and he reflected ruefully, that he himself had told her of his cousin's actions! That his own disclosure regarding Darcy's interference in Bingley's prior attachment had influenced her decision to reject his cousin, he could not doubt. As he observed Bingley and Miss Bennet together, their mutual ease and comfort with one another as well as their evident delight in meeting again confirmed all his suspicions. (Indeed, Colonel Fitzwilliam had no way of knowing that Bingley's intent looks towards Miss Bennet were only made in an attempt to find some trace of resemblance to her sister, Jane.) This suspicion also answered Colonel Fitzwilliam's questions about Elizabeth's rejection of Darcy. The only inducement that would lead a woman, particularly one in her situation, to reject his cousin was that her heart was already engaged. She was in love with Bingley, and Bingley with her. It all made sense, except that he knew his cousin would in no way be so deceitful as to interfere with his friend's suit only to clear the way for his own. Yet, there was no other explanation; and, other than being so contrary to Darcy's nature, it made perfect sense. Though, he was confident there must be some further explanation for Darcy's actions.
While the colonel was lost in these contemplations, Elizabeth was preoccupied with the demeanor of his cousin. Georgiana was even more subdued than she had ever been. She was sad. When Elizabeth asked about her brother, though, wondering if his condition had worsened, the girl merely perked up and said that he was still doing very well.
After they visited for about half an hour Colonel Fitzwilliam indicated that they should return to Rosings, and invited Elizabeth to return with them. The four of them then left the house together. When they arrived at Rosings, Colonel Fitzwilliam directed them to a small parlour and then took Bingley out of the room on some pretense, leaving the ladies alone. "I suppose I am to take you to my brother," said Miss Darcy. "I understand that Colonel Fitzwilliam would not wish Mr. Bingley to know that you are visiting him." Elizabeth said nothing as her companion continued timidly. "He told me . . . what passed between you and my brother."
"Miss Darcy, when your brother awoke on Saturday he was under the mistaken impression that we are engaged. I did not realize this until yesterday, and your cousin insisted that I not reveal the truth. For that reason, Mr. Darcy expects to see me, but if anyone else knows I am visiting him they will be suspicious. I do not like it, but I have agreed to it."
"I thank you for that. I have never seen my brother so happy as he is when you are with him. His spirits are so improved. You do not know because you do not see him when you are not there." Then realizing that she might sound as if Mr. Darcy was unbearable, she quickly said, "he is not unkind. Indeed, he is always in a good humor and he tries to spare me from knowing of his suffering. I just cannot comprehend why you would reject his suit, Miss Bennet." She said the last sentence in almost a whisper.
Elizabeth's anger began to stir, she was already doing so much with this deception, she did not now wish for her motives in rejecting Darcy to be scrutinized by his relations. Yet Miss Darcy was so sweet and sincere, that Elizabeth could not help but feel a twinge of guilt for being angry with her. At last she asked lightly, "why do you find it incomprehensible, because I have nothing, and his situation is so eligible?"
Miss Darcy was clearly appalled by this assertion, "no indeed. It is just that he is the dearest, sweetest, most honorable, most generous man in the world." Elizabeth smiled, amused by Miss Darcy's undoubtedly biased view of her brother. Miss Darcy seemed affronted by Elizabeth's smile.
"Dear Miss Darcy," she replied, "I am certain that he is a wonderful brother. His affection for you is obvious. He is very proud of you." Here Miss Darcy cast down her eyes as if in shame. Elizabeth was puzzled but continued, "I simply do not have those kinds of feelings for him."
"I understand," she replied, "please forgive me for speaking of matters that do not concern me. Shall we go to him now?"
"Yes, of course," replied Elizabeth. As they ascended to the sick room, she suddenly felt unsure of her actions. Was she doing the right thing by allowing Darcy to believe they were engaged? She could not defend her actions to herself adequately, and she could not help but feel that the longer this deception continued, the worse things would be in the end.
When they entered the room, Darcy's face lit up when he saw her. Miss Darcy appeared as if she would burst into tears and immediately went to her usual chair. Elizabeth noticed that Darcy was propped up on many pillows now, partially sitting up, and was wearing a lawn shirt and a waistcoat. She was happy to observe that he had also regained much of his color. After greeting Elizabeth Darcy turned to his sister and asked, "Georgiana, what is the matter?"
Miss Darcy turned to her brother and said, "it is nothing, dear Fitzwilliam. I am quite well."
He called her over to him and after standing with him a moment and assuring him that she was well, she excused herself from the room.
Darcy looked at Elizabeth, who was now sitting in her usual chair, "I wonder what can be troubling her." Elizabeth said nothing. "She does not always confide in me, and I do not wish to press her confidence. I wonder if she would be more comfortable talking to another woman," he hesitated, then added, "would it be too much to ask you to speak to her?"
"Not at all, I will try to talk to her."
"Thank you," he said, taking her hand. "I hope that you are also well."
"Yes, I am. Mr. Bingley came to see me." She was more than a little uncomfortable with his holding her hand, but she did not resist.
"I knew he would go to the parsonage directly when I told him you were there."
"We had a lovely visit. It was a very pleasant surprise."
"I am glad to hear it."
Elizabeth wondered whether speaking of the matters about which they had quarreled would cause Darcy to remember the conversation. In spite of the risk, however, she said, "he had no idea my sister, Jane, had been in town since January."
Darcy knitted his brow and then said, "I must confess something to you, Elizabeth, that has grieved me since it occurred. I am not sure whether we have already talked about it."
"What is it?" asked Elizabeth, expecting to hear the same information that had been previously disclosed to her by Colonel Fitzwilliam, and that she had confronted him with during their quarrel.
"I knew your sister was in London. Miss Bingley told me. She and Mrs. Hurst and I agreed to keep the news from Bingley." He could see that she was angry. He leaned forward, tightening his grip on her hand, and said, "it was beneath me to employ such arts. I know it was wrong, and I regret having done it."
It took great effort for Elizabeth to maintain her composure, but not wishing to repeat the scene of last Thursday evening, she said calmly, but with feeling, "why did you do it?"
"For the same reason I persuaded him not to return to Hertfordshire. Did I not explain this to you?"
"What was your reason, that she was an unsuitable match for him?"
He smiled ruefully, "I will not deny that I did object on those grounds, but considering my own subsequent behavior, I do believe my doing so was both absurd and impertinent. But, the real reason I did not wish him to see her in London, was that I did not wish him to suffer more. I knew he could not yet meet her as a common and indifferent acquaintance. Yet I also knew that she did not return his feelings."
"You believed that she did not love him?" she asked in a surprised tone.
"Yes, it was my conviction in her indifference that held sway with Bingley. I do not think I would have prevailed upon him with any of my other arguments." Then seeing the severity of her countenance, he said, "Elizabeth, what is the matter?"
"You were mistaken, that is all."
He looked at her in surprise, then said, "do you mean that she did return his regard?"
"Yes, of course she did, I cannot believe that you did not see it. She still suffers from the loss of his society."
Darcy was thoughtful for a few moments, then replied, "perhaps there is still hope for them, then. I know Bingley's affections are unabated."
"Then I dare say there may be hope, if only they could meet again."
"I am sure they will," replied Darcy smiling to her. Then he said, "do you forgive me, then?"
"It is not my forgiveness that you require."
"I would not wish you to think ill of me." She said nothing. He lifted her hand to his lips and said, "I have missed you, Elizabeth."
She was very uncomfortable as she blushed and replied, "since only yesterday?"
"Indeed," he said, smiling. Then he continued, "I spoke to my cousin yesterday of our situation, after you left. He believes we should not make our understanding generally known. He said that you agreed with him. For this reason, I have not yet told Bingley. But, I would like to at least tell my aunt."
Elizabeth sighed deeply, she could not continue with the deception. In spite of her promise to Colonel Fitzwilliam, she felt that she must reveal the truth. Her deception to Darcy was a far greater evil than breaking a misguided promise to Colonel Fitzwilliam. "Mr. Darcy," she said, "I can go on with this no longer." She was stifled, however, by the sound of Lady Catherine's voice in the sitting room with Miss Darcy.
Elizabeth had just enough time to withdraw her hand from Darcy's and rise from her chair before Lady Catherine entered the room. "Miss Bennet, you will excuse us."
Elizabeth left the room just as she heard Lady Catherine say, "that is the third time I have found Miss Bennet here with you, Darcy. She has no business in your room. I demand an explanation." Elizabeth quickly left the house to return to the parsonage, hoping that Darcy would refrain from satisfying Lady Catherine's inquiry.
Elizabeth was consumed with a contrariety of meditations and emotions throughout that evening and into the following morning. She felt that she should never have agreed to go along with pretending to be engaged to Darcy, and she regretted that she had not had the opportunity to tell him the truth. She had to admit to herself that she was touched by his affectionate attentions, but she knew he would be humiliated when he learned that she had only been indulging his misconception of their relationship. And, dear Miss Darcy was already so distraught over the matter.
Elizabeth also thought extensively about what Darcy had told her of Jane's situation. He had believed Jane to be indifferent to Bingley. And, though Elizabeth still could not approve of his interference, she recalled that Charlotte had also observed that Jane was reserved in her expression of admiration for Mr. Bingley. She also thought about his confession that he had kept the knowledge of Jane's presence in London from Bingley. Though she had not before realized the extent of his duplicity in the matter, her anger in consequence of learning of it was softened by his sincere apology for having done so, and by his expression of hope that Mr. Bingley and Jane might still find their happiness together.
Her sister's happiness being her foremost priority, she had immediately, upon arriving home, written to Jane and told her of Mr. Bingley's coming to Rosings and of his ignorance of her presence in London. She was cognizant of the risk that Jane's hopes might be again raised only to be disappointed, and she tried not to disclose too much, yet she felt confident that all would turn out well between them. Her confidence was brought on as much by Darcy's profession of hope that such an outcome might be reached as by Bingley's demeanor and expressions during their conversation earlier that day.
Thoughts of the previous day continued to pervade Elizabeth's mind on Tuesday morning. She was lost in her own meditations during breakfast, when the entire Hunsford party was surprised by the unexpected arrival of Lady Catherine de Bourgh at the parsonage. Elizabeth's surprise was doubled when Lady Catherine asked for her company for a stroll in the gardens. She did not understand the lady's motivation in making the request, but she readily assented to it. Once they had reached an area of the garden that afforded some privacy, Lady Catherine began in the following manner, "you can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand the reason I requested this private interview with you."
"Indeed, you are mistaken, madam. I am quite unable to account for it.
"Miss Bennet, you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. But, however insincere you may choose to be, you shall not find me so. My character has ever been celebrated for its sincerity and frankness, and in a cause of such moment as this I shall certainly not depart from it. The reason for my wish to speak to you is that my nephew, Mr. Darcy, has informed me that you are engaged to him. I would not injure him so much as to suppose the truth of it possible if I had not heard it from his own lips, yet he cannot be in a proper frame of mind to make such an assertion himself."
"If he has said it to be so, I wonder what your ladyship could propose by speaking to me about it."
"At once, to insist that you break off this farce of an engagement immediately, then pack your things and return to Hertfordshire where you belong."
"I am afraid, Lady Catherine, that my traveling plans are fixed. I have no intention of altering them."
"Obstinate, headstrong girl. Have you no shame? How can you think of continuing in residence so close to his family after the infamous manner in which you have taken advantage of his condition? Your arts and allurements have drawn him in while his frame of mind was weakened. He fancies himself in love! You have made him forget, in a moment of infatuation, what he owes to himself and to all his family."
"If I had, I would be the last person to confess it."
"Miss Bennet, do you know who I am? I have not been accustomed to such language as this. I am almost the nearest relation he has in the world. It is my duty to protect him from the likes of you."
"You must do what you feel is right, Lady Catherine, and so must I."
"Let me be rightly understood. This match to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place. No, never. Mr. Darcy has been engaged to my daughter since before his unfortunate accident. Now, what have you to say?
"Only this: that if he is so, then he certainly would not be telling you of his engagement to me."
Lady Catherine hesitated for a moment, and then replied, "the engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. From their infancy they have been intended for each other. It was the favorite wish of his mother, as well as of hers. While in their cradles, we planned the union: and now, at the moment when the wishes of both sisters would be accomplished in their marriage, to be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth, of no importance in the world, and wholly unallied to the family! Do you pay no regard to the wishes of his friends - to his tacit engagement with Miss de Bourgh? Are you lost to every feeling of propriety and delicacy? Have you not heard me say that from his earliest hours he was destined for his cousin?"
Elizabeth was becoming angry. Though she had no intention of marrying Darcy, she had not yet had a chance to settle things with him, and she could not disabuse the aunt of the falsity of their engagement without first informing Mr. Darcy of it himself. As further motivation, she certainly had no desire to satisfy Lady Catherine. Being obtuse had not brought her any success with the lady, who seemed steadfastly resolved to her purpose. "Yes, and I had heard it before. But what is that to me? If there is no other objection to my marrying your nephew, I shall certainly not be kept from it by knowing that his mother and aunt wished him to marry Miss de Bourgh. You both did as much as you could, in planning the marriage; its completion depended on others. If Mr. Darcy is neither by honour nor inclination confined to his cousin, why is not he to make another choice? and if I am that choice, why may I not marry him?"
"Because honour, decorum, prudence - nay interest forbid it. Yes, Miss Bennet, interest; for do not expect to be noticed by his family or friends if you willfully act against the inclinations of all. You will be censured, slighted, and despised by every one connected with him. Your alliance would be a disgrace; your name will never be mentioned by any of us."
Elizabeth now recalled the mode of Darcy's proposal to herself, he himself had dwelt warmly on these very objections. This reminder not only inspired feelings of anger towards her present companion, but rekindled all the anger she had felt during Darcy's address to her. Nevertheless, she could not fail to apprehend that the reality of the extent of his relation's disapprobation was even more severe than he had described. Yet, he still wished to marry her. "These are heavy misfortunes, indeed," she finally said, "but certainly not such as would induce me to behave dishonourably by breaking an engagement." Once Elizabeth had begun to defend the engagement, she could not recede, nor did she wish to, considering Lady Catherine's hostile demeanor. Yet, she now began to feel worse for perpetuating her false engagement. Not only was she allowing Darcy to believe they were engaged, but she was now misleading his aunt to believe it as well. She must put a stop to it.
"How dare you speak of honour. You have used Mr. Darcy in the worst kind of way. You have prevented him from honouring his own obligations to himself and his family. Is this your gratitude for my attentions to you? Is nothing due to me on that score? You are to understand, Miss Bennet, that I came here with the determined resolution of carrying my purpose; nor will I be dissuaded from it. I have not been used to submit to any person's whims. I have not been in the habit of brooking disappointment."
"That will make your ladyship's situation at present more pitiable; but it will have no effect on me."
"I will not be interrupted! Hear me in silence. My daughter and my nephew are formed for each other. They are descended, on the maternal side, from the same noble line; and, on the fathers', from respectable, honourable, and ancient, though untitled families. Their fortune on both sides is splendid. They are destined for each other by the voice of every member of their respective houses; and what is to divide them? The upstart pretensions of a young woman without family, connections, or fortune. Is this to be endured? But it must not, shall not be! If you were sensible of your own good, you would not wish to quit the sphere in which you have been brought up."
"In marrying your nephew I should not consider myself as quitting that sphere. He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman's daughter: so far we are equal."
"True. You are a gentleman's daughter. But who was your mother? Who are your uncles and aunts? Do you imagine me ignorant of their condition."
"Whatever my connections may be," said Elizabeth, "if your nephew does not object to them, they can be nothing to you."
"This is not to be borne. Miss Bennet, I insist on being satisfied. Tell me once and for all, will you promise to break this engagement with him?"
"I will make no promise of the kind."
"Miss Bennet, I am shocked and astonished. I expected to find a more reasonable young woman. But do not deceive yourself into a belief that I will ever recede. I shall not go away till you have given me the assurance I require."
"And I certainly never shall give it. I would not satisfy your attempt to intimidate me even if what you are requesting were my own dearest wish. Whatever is between myself and your nephew is his business and mine alone. He may share it with you as he pleases, but I am under no obligation to discuss it with you. Moreover, your request is wholly unreasonable. Your ladyship wants Mr. Darcy to marry your daughter; but would my giving you the wished-for promise make their marriage at all more probable? If he is attached to me, would my refusing to marry him make him wish to marry his cousin? Allow me to say, Lady Catherine, that the arguments with which you have supported this extraordinary application have been as frivolous as the application was ill-judged. You have widely mistaken my character, if you think I can be worked on by such persuasions as these. How far your nephew might approve of your interference in his affairs I cannot tell; but you have certainly no right to concern yourself in mine. I must beg, therefore, to be importuned no further on the subject."
"Not so hasty, if you please. I am by no means done. Do you suppose that I shall stand by and see my dear nephew succumb to the basest of inducements offered by a woman who has nothing else to recommend her? To allow him to make a mistake he never would have made while he retained his reason? A mistake orchestrated by a conniving, mercenary, common young woman who moved in on him after he had lost use of his senses due to an injury that brought him near death? Heaven and earth - of what are you thinking? Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted? Nay, I will avail myself of every means within my power in my efforts to protect him. I will not hesitate to use my rank and connections to preserve him from falling further into your web. You will find me a formidable adversary, Miss Bennet."
"You can now have nothing further to say," Elizabeth resentfully answered. "You have insulted me in every possible method. I must beg to return to the house."
She turned, as she spoke, towards the parsonage. Lady Catherine turned back with her, highly incensed.
"You have no regard, then, for the honour and credit of my nephew! Unfeeling, selfish girl! Do you not consider that a connection with you must disgrace him in the eyes of everybody?"
"Lady Catherine, I have nothing further to say. You know my sentiments."
"You are then, resolved to have him?"
"I am only resolved to act in that manner which I believe to be proper without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me."
"It is well. You refuse to oblige me. You refuse to obey the claims of duty, honour, and gratitude. You are determined to ruin him in the opinion of all his friends, and make him the contempt of the world."
"Neither duty, nor honour, nor gratitude," replied Elizabeth, "has any possible claim on me in the present instance. No principle of either would be violated by my marriage with Mr. Darcy. And with regard to the resentment of his family or the indignation of the world, if the former were excited by his marrying me, it would not give me a moment's concern and the world in general would have too much sense to join in the scorn."
"And this is your real opinion! This is your final resolve! Very well. I shall now know how to act. Do not imagine, Miss Bennet, that your ambition will ever be gratified. I came to try you. I hoped to find you reasonable; but, depend upon it, I will carry my point." As she scurried towards the house, Lady Catherine finished, "I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet, you deserve no such attention. I am seriously displeased." Elizabeth remained outside while Lady Catherine went indoors.