Posted on Monday, 29 May 2006

As the rain spit at the window sill, I could not believe the events of the day had unfolded as they had. I could not believe my current state of comfort running my hand over the smooth material of the comforter and wondered again at the luxury surrounding me. The soft rose hues of the room pleased and at the same time soothed. The warm fire in the grate cast soft shadows on the walls and I could not help but sigh contently. I felt pampered. My first visit at Pemberly had not gone at all according to plan.

My uncle had expressed a wish of going round the whole park, but I feared he might be beyond such a long walk. When he was told it was ten miles round, he was settled on the matter; and we pursued the accustomed circuit; which brought us again, after some time, in a descent among hanging woods, to the edge of the water, in one of its narrowest parts. We crossed it by a simple bridge, in character with the general air of the scene; it was a spot less adorned than any they had yet visited; and the valley, here contracted into a glen, allowed room only for the stream and a narrow walk amidst the rough coppice-wood which bordered it. I longed to explore its windings; but when we had crossed the bridge, and perceived their distance from the house, my aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, who was not a great walker, could go no farther, and thought only of returning to the carriage as quickly as possible. I was, therefore, obliged to submit, and we took their way towards the house on the opposite side of the river, in the nearest direction; but their progress was slow, for my uncle, though seldom able to indulge the taste, was very fond of fishing, and was so much engaged in watching the occasional appearance of some trout in the water, and talking to the man about them, that he slipped in the wet grass and landed in a contorted heap with one leg sticking out at an unusual angel beneath him. His fall had spirited both me and my aunt to his side.

Mr. Darcy took the matter well in hand before either me or my aunt had sufficiently recovered from the shock. Before either of us noticed, we were situated in a comfortable sitting room being served refreshments while Mr. Darcy’s personal doctor, Mr. Faberage, gave my uncle a sleeping draught before starting to examine his injured leg. It was a half an hour later when a grim doctor relayed the hopeful prognosis himself. It had only been a bad sprain but it would be at least a week before my uncle would be able to use his leg properly and it was nearly that long before the doctor suggested he be moved.

“Mrs. Gardiner, I cannot help but feel this is somehow my fault.” I had not heard Mr. Darcy join us after missing dinner, but the sound of his voice somehow stopped my mind’s furious tumble over how to get my uncle safely home. “Perhaps, if the gardens had been better tended…”

“You take too much upon yourself, Mr. Darcy.” My aunt immediately interrupted him going so far in her gratitude to lay a hand on his forearm. “There was no way my husband’s mishap was caused by any neglect on your part. You have sent for your physician and seen to our every comfort. In fact, sir, you have been very generous and kind. I know that if Thomas was aware of your generosity, he would be very grateful and flattered for your attention to his care.”

“Mrs. Gardiner, I do not want your gratitude…I did only what any gentleman would have done.”

“Surely not, Mr. Darcy. What you have done for my husband was …” My aunt’s voice cracked here. “Astounding. Don’t you agree, Elizabeth? Don’t you agree that Mr. Darcy is indeed the best of men?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Darcy.” Mrs. Reynolds appeared in the room sparing me the uncomfortable responsibility of admitting the truth. “The rooms you requested are ready.”

“Of course, thank you, Mrs. Reynolds.”

“Rooms?”

“I have asked my servants to fix up some rooms for your comfort. I would assume, Mrs Gardiner that both you and Miss Elizabeth would want to stay close to your husband. I have arranged for you to have the suite next to him.”

My aunt rose wearily to her feet. “Again, Mr. Darcy, your hospitality is a credit to you. You did not have to put us up for the night, but I am most certainly relieved you did. My husband’s comfort is the most important thing to me.”

“It is the least I could do.” When I felt his glance fall on me again, this time I was up for the challenge. “I hope you have everything you need for your own comfort. If there is anything you require, please inform my staff. They will be more than happy to see to your request.”

“Thank you.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded weak and unsteady. The man before me was not the man who had lived and insulted the people in Hertfordshire. This man was proud but so very agreeable and accommodating.

I pulled the well worn letter from its hiding place in my Bible as I read and read thrice the words written. Of course after all these months I knew the words by heart, but still they did not offer me the answer I sought. Sighing, I slipped out from underneath the covers and walked over to the window seat where I stared out to the dark night sky.

If only I could talk to him about what I had in my heart. If only I could tell him that while I did not believe I was wrong to reject his proposal, that I now did not find his feelings repulsive any longer. For some reason, it mattered to me a great deal that he knew that and understood my feelings. I pressed my forehead to the cold panes of glass and wondered at the arrival of his guests on the marrow would bring. Would his sister be proud and disdainful? How much of our history did she know? Or, would Mr. Darcy wishing to avoid the unpleasant scenes that may arise and arrange for them to be gone before his friends and family arrived? How I wished to know the answer.

I ran my hand down the nightgown I wore. It was a cotton frock of pale colors. As Mrs. Reynolds showed me to my chambers, the woman had given me the gown telling me it belonged to Miss Darcy. It was a compliment to me, I knew, but I wondered if maybe Mrs. Reynolds read more into Mr. Darcy’s actions than she should have. Mrs. Reynolds had shown this opulent room on the tour but I could not remember the significance of the room when shown so many others. And besides, this floor had been shown right after the gallery below where his portrait had been hung. To be fair, my mind had been reeling from seeing his fine form along with his noted relatives.

I sighed again and wondered why after such a hectic and worrisome day I was not exhausted. I felt wide awake and fully charged somehow. It was then I remembered the library and conjured up the idea to quickly dash down and retrieve a book.

Quickly gathering my courage and my robe about me, I started my clandestine mission. If I came across a member of the Darcy staff, I would hold up my head and simply ask for assistance. To remember my way, I quickly counted the number of doors between the main stair case and my bedroom door and made my quick descent. I have to admit I was feeling quite smug when I returned to her room and stealthily closed the door behind me.

Turning around quickly, I felt the smile I had on my face freeze. Mr. Darcy clothed only in his great shirt and britches glanced up from the book he was reading in front of a small fire. It was obvious from his surroundings; I must have miscalculated upon my return and had entered by mistake his room.

His face could not hide his shock as he stood. “Elizabeth? Is there something wrong?”

“Mr. Darcy. I am sorry...” I gulped for air.

He rapidly closed the distance between us. “Is there something wrong?”

“No sir.” My cheeks were burning, but I could not tear my eyes from his attire. The cloth covered too little and was too binding at the same time. In an effort to stop my racing heart, I glanced down at my bare feet. “I thought this was my chamber.” After a lengthy pause, I offered as an apology of sorts. “I must have not counted the doors properly. Again, I am sorry for disturbing you…”

“You are not disturbing me.” If he had only smiled at me that way at our first acquaintance, I would have swooned. I chewed my lip out of habit and tried hard not to laugh at a sudden bout of nerves that struck me.

“Please, sir, if you could just direct me to my room, I would not want you to neglect your book.”

“My book?” He had dimples. He nodded to himself, before adding, “Miss Elizabeth, always, you amaze me.” I did not have a response for that and evidently he noticed my discomfort because he half bowed. “I think you will agree it will not be wise to exit back into the hallway.”

To this day, I would not be able to tell you if it was from mistrust or because I did not want to leave his presence that I did not immediately follow him. “Your room connects to mine through the joint dressing chambers.”

“Why do our rooms connect?”

Mr. Darcy leaned on the door jam and smiled lazily. “Because I am the master of Pemberly, and Mrs. Reynolds follows my instructions to the letter.”

“Your instructions?”

“I wanted only the best room for you.”

I know I sounded like a barn owl. “The best room?”

“My mother’s old room. It connects to my father’s old rooms.”

I felt myself getting hot as Mr. Darcy stood before me. I felt his fingers tilt my chin so I was forced to hold his gaze. Nervous, I licked my lips which unwittingly caused his gaze to follow the path of my tongue. “Mr. Darcy, I know how this must look, but really, it is all just a big misunderstanding.”

“I know.” He ran his thumb over my lower lip entranced. “I know you are innocent. But, by God,” I could not move. “You are so breathtakingly beautiful.” I backed away slightly from him and felt the wood of our adjourning door behind me. I felt the heat of his breath a second before I felt the warmth of his mouth graze against mine. It was several minutes that time stopped for me. I could never imagine anything more wonderful until I felt his tongue enter my accommodating mouth. We could have stood like this forever, giving and taking if I had not become aware of a growing situation between us. I remember gasping and at the same time pushing back from him. He immediately released me but I could tell he would have eagerly continued on our current course.

“Mr. Darcy, I have to go back to my room.”

“I believe you should go. While I still have enough self control to let you.” He visibly took a deep breath. “You are an amazingly beautiful woman and I am utterly bewitched by you. You need not look so shocked, Elizabeth. As much as I know my feelings disgust you, I am still your faithful servant.”

He shut the door between us before I was aware he had led me back to my room.

The End