Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Mrs. Gardiner said nothing to her husband in the beginning. She had so little evidence of something happening that day at Darcy House that she originally decided her best course of action was to observe. Not wanting to force a confrontation with the Darcys or Lord Wolfbridge if it was not necessary was uppermost in her mind. Elizabeth was definitely not herself. In those first weeks, she asked numerous times if anything was wrong, and each time the answer was the same. Elizabeth assured her aunt she was fine and evaded the truth by saying perhaps she was just a bit homesick.
Elizabeth played with the children as usual, but Mrs. Gardiner was certain she was simply going through the motions. Even Marianne noticed and asked her mother what was wrong with Cousin Lizzy. She told her mother that when she told them a story, she did not use any voices.
About three weeks after the day Lizzy went to Darcy House alone, she tried to eat breakfast, and almost immediately had to excuse herself. Her aunt went to her and found her lying on her bed with a cold compress on her head.
“Aunt Gardiner, I feel quite sick this morning as well as being fatigued. Would you mind if I stayed in my room for a bit?”
“Do not worry, Lizzy, the nurse and I can manage the children. Get a good rest, and we will see you later in the day.”
During the next three weeks, Mrs. Gardiner observed that Lizzy was both nauseous in the morning and excessively tired on an almost daily basis. Elizabeth assumed it was part of the sadness and guilt she felt at allowing herself to be violated. She should have fought. Honourable women fight when they are about to be compromised. She was sure she had read that in novels.
Mrs. Gardiner asked Mrs. Jones to inquire of Molly when was the last time Miss Elizabeth had her courses. Mrs Jones told Molly she needed to make sure she had the proper supplies on hand. Luckily Molly did not seem to find the question unusual, and readily answered that it was two months ago. Mrs. Gardiner knew the situation had reached a point where she had to inform her husband about what she feared had happened to their beloved niece.
She told him in the privacy of his office after dinner. He asked numerous questions about the circumstances, which of course Mrs. Gardiner had no knowledge of, other than the stains on her clothing, the despair she exhibited and the very recent physical symptoms. Mr. Gardiner was devastated at first, and then ranted at the nameless person who had hurt his niece. He despaired over telling his sister and brother. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner felt certain Lizzy had been violated, but both instinctually knew she had not been to blame.
Once calm, Mr. Gardiner began thinking of next steps. He knew the Darcy and Fitzwilliam families were formidable opponents if it came to a confrontation. He decided to have an acquaintance make some discreet inquiries to see if a young woman was being gossiped about by the servants at Darcy House or in any of the clubs about town. They agreed they would wait for the results of the inquiries and perhaps more definitive evidence of a baby before confronting her.
Four weeks later, the first results of the inquiries had been favourable for avoiding a scandal. There was no gossip at Darcy House, but the physical evidence definitely kept building to support her being with child. The morning sickness and fatigue had not abated, and Lizzy’s spirits were still depressed.
Despite her distress, she continued to entertain her cousins. She could not deny them the pleasure of the park as April showers gave way to the beauty that was May. Marianne had become proficient enough to fly the Puss in Boots kite by herself. Lizzy and Thomas launched the second kite they had made... a spectacular red dragon, spewing fire from his mouth and possessing a magnificent tail with a spike on the end. They had affixed scales all over the dragon that flapped in the breeze. Uncle Gardiner had found some kind of sparkly material from which to make them. They named the Dragon, Llywelyn, after their Grandfather Davies. Thomas and Marianne told her he was a very kindly man, but looked quite frightening with eyebrows that grew in every direction and silver hair as bushy as a lion’s mane. He did not spew fire, but his voice boomed.
While keeping her cousins occupied with kite flying, Lizzy was allowed to rest on a bench and just observe her cousins. Several times in the distance, she thought she saw a tall man in black across the park. The thought of being watched by someone who could be Lord Wolfbridge made her heart race, and her breathing become laboured. Whenever she would look again, the man would be gone.
Two and a half months after Elizabeth’s visit to Darcy House, Mr. And Mrs. Gardiner asked Elizabeth to join them in Mr. Gardiner’s study. Elizabeth was hoping they would talk about her returning to Longbourn. She needed to confide in someone, and knew the only person she could even consider sharing her humiliation with was Jane.
“Elizabeth, what happened to you the last time you visited Mrs. Darcy?” Mrs. Gardiner tried to keep from looking accusatory.
Elizabeth had become adept at keeping a placid countenance over the last two and a half months. She said, “I do not know what you mean. Nothing happened except the quarrel I told you about.”
“You are not telling the truth. I know something happened to you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I fear you are with child.”
Lizzy looked uncomprehendingly. “That is impossible. I am not married.”
“Elizabeth, you do not have to be married to have a child.”
“Aunt, cannot we talk about this alone? I do not want to talk about this with my uncle here.”
Mr. Gardiner gave her a stern look. “Elizabeth, I need to be here so we can find a solution for your dilemma.”
Elizabeth looked nervously at her uncle. “But I do not have a dilemma, and I am uncomfortable talking about such things with you present. I think it is improper. I have never talked about these things with anyone but Aunt Gardiner and Jane, and a very little bit with Mama.”
Mr. Gardiner continued to look at his niece with an unyielding gaze. “I am not leaving, Lizzy. Your aunt and I both need to find out what is going on.”
The standoff between the two lasted several minutes, and finally Lizzy spoke in a tremulous voice. “How is it possible to have a baby if you are not married? I thought first you become a woman when you get your courses, and then you are ready the way Mama said. Then when you are married and come together in the marriage bed, you are able to have a baby.”
Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner looked at each other in the stark realization of the naivety of their favourite niece. Mrs. Gardiner said, “People who are not married can do the same things married couples do.”
“Yes, but God would not bless it and give them a child.”
“Unfortunately, making a child does not require God’s blessing.”
Elizabeth looked stunned for a few seconds, and the Gardiners watched as her certainty disintegrated. She collapsed on the floor sobbing. They watched in horror as she began rocking back and forth and pounding her head against her uncle’s desk. Mr. Gardiner got on the floor and pulled her to him in an embrace. She struggled to push him away. She pounded her fists against his back, and shouted “let me go” but her uncle steadfastly refused to remove his arms. He was determined to keep her from hurting herself. She continued to fight him, but he was in the end stronger, and she finally settled and sobbed quietly.
After about ten minutes, she pulled back from her uncle and stood up. She spoke quietly as she paced – more to herself than her aunt and uncle. “How could God abandon me and my family? I have been good. I have always honoured my parents... I have not stolen nor murdered. I did have private thoughts that Lord Wolfbridge and Mr. Darcy were handsome, but I do not think I lusted. I am not even sure what lusting is. It doesn’t seem fair that he would punish me for something I did not even know I was doing. I know... it is because I was proud... oh so very, very proud, and I should have fought... God must have wanted me to fight. If I had fought, God would have protected me. I was just a prideful girl and had no faith in him. The whole time I never once prayed... just thought about hiding my humiliation.” Lizzy started another chorus of keening and rocking. When she calmed a second time, her next words were punctuated by hiccups and sniffling. “I have ruined my family, and oh, oh, oh, my poor sisters. How will Mama and my sisters survive when Papa dies? No one will want to marry any of them now that I am a disgrace.”
“Elizabeth, I know you are distraught, but you must tell us what happened.” Her uncle guided her to a chair. “Would you like some water?” She nodded, and he poured her a glass from the carafe. “Niece, did Mr. Darcy do this to you?” Mr. Gardiner asked. She looked uncomprehendingly at him with big round eyes still laden with tears.
His wife was annoyed with his assumption. “Husband, why do you assume it was Mr. Darcy? Why do you not question Lord Wolfbridge’s honour?”
“Because Lord Wolfbridge will one day be a peer, and he will play a role in shaping the policies of our nation. More importantly, Mr. Darcy paid a great deal of attention to Elizabeth that night at the theatre.”
“Yes, but Mr. Darcy has not been seen by either Elizabeth or myself since that night, and Lord Wolfbridge has. I am also not as certain as you that his rank makes him honourable.”
Elizabeth drank the water while her aunt and uncle sparred. When she had finished, she put down the glass and began her narrative. She told the story beginning with Mrs. Darcy coming to pick her up, and finished the story by telling of her walk from Grosvenor Square to Cheapside with Mr. Darcy following her.
Her aunt and uncle were momentarily speechless. Her aunt spoke first. “Mrs. Darcy left you alone so you were accessible to Lord Wolfbridge? How despicable.”
With the haunted look of the Ides of March on her face, Lizzy said, “Aunt, Uncle, I need to lie down. I am overwhelmed by the news, and I must think about what this means. I promise I will talk to you again soon, but right now I am going out of my mind with fear and anxiety, and I need to rest. Her head was throbbing, and it hurt as badly as she had ever experienced. Lizzy slept, or tried to sleep, through the entire day and night. She awoke the next morning with a tear soaked pillow and a resolution for her future. She hoped she could persuade her aunt and uncle to go along with her plan.
Posted on Wednesday, 28 May 2008
“Aunt, Uncle, you must help me. I do not want to marry Lord Wolfbridge; and you must agree it is unfair to this child to ever know who its parents are. I have thought of nothing else but this baby since yesterday. At first, I just wanted it to go away; but the more I pondered my dilemma, the more I realized that was not possible. I soon came to feel that this child is innocent and deserves the same chance as other babies with parents who would care for and support it. It needs a chance, regardless of the foolishness of its mother or the cruelty of its father.”
Lizzy’s countenance hardened, her eyes narrowed into slits, and she practically spat out her words. “I was silly to be flattered by the attention I was receiving from such prestigious personages, but I committed no impropriety. Lord Wolfbridge is a predator. He told me he wanted me because I looked like a child.”
Mrs. Gardiner shuddered at her statement. Lizzie softened and gave her a sad smile. ”I know I am young, but even I know that is depraved. When I think back, he purposely waited until everyone was occupied somewhere else to ask me questions about whether I was naughty as a child and whether Papa often had to punish me. I thought he was teasing me. Like a foolish child, I thought his teasing and his smile meant I was special. I will always hate him… hate... not be indifferent to... I mean truly hate. I know this is a very unchristian thing to say and feel, but I would kill him if I thought I could get away with it. I do not want this babe to know the truth about how much its mother hates its father.”
Elizabeth bowed her head. Her uncle was sure if he could see her face, he would see tears. His wife was openly crying, and he could feel tears welling in his own eyes. She was right – Lord Wolfbridge was depraved. He had taken this beautiful, lively, happy, girl, and tried to break her spirit. The next moment, Lizzy lifted her head, and he saw not tears, but determination. Mr. Gardiner was sure she would never be the same joyful spirit from before; but her look showed she was not broken.
Elizabeth continued, “All last night I tried to decide what was most important. My priority is to give this baby as good a life as I am able; and I know that a good life can never be with me. I am requesting your help to find a way to cover my disgrace, not for my sake, but to preserve the good name of our family and give this child the chance it deserves. I am reconciled that I will never be able to have the life I hoped for – but you, my cousins, my sisters, my parents and this babe must be allowed to enjoy all that this exciting new age has to offer. Please help me find a place I can go for my confinement that will protect our family from scandal. Do you have any ideas about who could take the baby?”
Mrs. Gardiner looked at her husband before she started talking. “Elizabeth, your uncle and I have also given considerable thought to your dilemma. We both feel the most prudent thing to do would be to at least try to get Lord Wolfbridge to marry you. However, your point about concern for the child is valid. Even though I think marriage would be the best thing, I am quite positive he would refuse, and we would risk exposing your circumstances to a wider public. If that happened, his family would weather the storm of scandal and disapproval, but ours would not. Those from the highest circles are always forgiven their indiscretions... particularly if the compromised is from a lower stratum. You are right to be concerned about your sisters.”
Mr. Gardiner scowled as he said, “I had an acquaintance, Mr. Thatcher, make some inquiries. I wanted to find out whether Lord Wolfbridge had mentioned compromising a young woman to anyone. He did talk about the incident at White’s, but did not mention your name. None of the staff at Darcy House has been heard gossiping about his taking advantage of a young woman. If your father and I confront him to force him to marry you, we definitely run the risk of exposing the incident. Your aunt is right that our family, and particularly your sisters, would suffer much more than the viscount if your violation became public.”
Mrs. Gardiner smiled at her niece and said, “Elizabeth, your uncle and I have thought of a plan to raise the baby as our own. You, Susan and I will go to Derbyshire to my family. My Cousin Jamie is a physician and can deliver the baby. He and my Aunt Wilder have a small and loyal staff, and have no near neighbours. My family is very adept at keeping secrets. My father, aunt and cousin will all be very sympathetic to your plight... particularly when they learn you were violated by a viscount.”
Her smile turned to a more serious demeanour as she continued. “Before we leave, we will disclose to family, staff and friends that I am with child, and that you are needed to help me through what is proving to be a difficult confinement. Once I am in Derbyshire, we will communicate that my cousin thinks it unwise for me to travel, and you and I must remain in Derbyshire until I have given birth. You have been very persuasive, and your uncle and I plan to concede to your wishes and not tell your father the truth. Once you are back in Hertfordshire, no one will ever know. Is that acceptable?”
“Oh Aunt, Uncle, you are truly wonderful to help me, and your plan is perfect. With remarkable parents like you, this baby will grow and thrive in such a loving home. I do have one request... I want to confront Lord Wolfbridge and the Darcys and make them pay. You should have help raising this child, and I would like to force them to give enough, that something can be set aside for Mama when Papa dies. I was thinking of asking for three thousand pounds from each for my silence.”
Mr. Gardiner put his arm around his niece, and this time she did not flinch. “Lizzy, you run the risk of having your situation exposed. My business is thriving. Your aunt and I can afford to raise this child, and I am prepared to help my sister when the time comes.”
“Uncle, you have always been kind and generous to our family. Your way is to always look forward and plan for any eventuality... unlike my father. I love Papa, and I am glad he has taught me so many things, but you are who I plan to strive to be like in the future – protective, loving, devoted to my family, and most importantly keeping my pride under good regulation. I will be proud of what I accomplish, and not who I know. With this six thousand pounds, I know you and I can make it grow and prosper to help with the babe’s and Mama’s future.”
The Gardiners conceded to Elizabeth’s wish. Mr. Thatcher made additional discreet inquiries to find out useful information about both the Darcys and Lord Wolfbridge. Mr. Gardiner wrote a note to Mr. Darcy requesting a meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge. He thought about using his solicitor to make the request, but Lizzy felt strongly that no lawyers be involved to ensure secrecy. Within two days, Mr. Darcy agreed to the meeting for the following Tuesday.
Elizabeth dressed carefully once again for her trip to Darcy House. This time she chose to be more sedate and hopefully businesslike. She chose a new gown of beautiful green silk. It had no ornamentation, and only caught the eye because of the novelty of the fabric. It appeared to have a wavy, watery pattern woven into the material. Her Uncle Gardiner had come across the silk at one of his friends’ warehouses and brought some home in ivory and green. He was hoping to get one of the textile mills where he had contacts to duplicate the fabric. It was imported from France and called moiré, and she and her aunt had been allowed to have gowns made. Elizabeth chose the green because it enhanced the colour of her eyes and set off her hair. The only adornment she wore was the garnet cross her father had given her for her fifth birthday.
Once settled in the carriage, Elizabeth asked, “Uncle, please allow me to conduct the negotiations. I know Mr. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge will think it inappropriate for me to speak, but I am hoping if I tell the story, I can at least get Mrs. Darcy feeling guilty. I think she was very thoughtless, but I also think she is afraid of her husband finding out what she did. I do not know why, but I am hoping Mr. Darcy is at least slightly honourable. According to Mr. Thatcher, Mrs Darcy is quite wealthy, and I am hoping Mrs. Darcy will be particularly susceptible to my appeal. As you know, I have rehearsed my approach numerous times, and with the intelligence Mr. Thatcher provided about Lord Wolfbridge, I think I will be able to convince them to give me six thousand pounds.”
“Lizzy, I have confidence in you, and I know you are persuasive. You convinced your aunt and me not to tell your father. I should not be letting you do this, but I am aware how much anger you feel. I hope you are successful so you might be able to feel at least slightly vindicated. I too want something on your behalf from Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy, and this is certainly preferable to fighting a duel. Please tell me one last time what is most important.”
“I have not forgotten… even more important than getting reparations from Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy, is the necessity to maintain the honour of our family. I love my sisters too much to jeopardize their futures. In the past week, I have thought a great deal about the necessary steps to ensure secrecy. Most important is that all correspondence and settlements should go through you because there will be much less suspicion of what the money is for. I do not want the name Bennet to be used at all, even as an address to me. Both today, and in the future, I will only identify myself as Miss Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth grinned at her uncle and said with bravado, “Lord Wolfbridge needs Miss Harding’s fifty thousand pounds. He has a lot to lose if this affair comes to light, and Mrs. Darcy is culpable.”
Mr. Gardiner and Elizabeth were shown into Mr. Darcy’s study. Lord Wolfbridge and Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were surprised to see Elizabeth. Mrs. Darcy looked worried, Mr. Darcy looked confused and Lord Wolfbridge looked irritated. Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge were sitting in chairs on one side of the fireplace, and Mr. Darcy was sitting behind his desk. Elizabeth was relieved to see no lawyer present. The fewer people who knew about what had occurred in this house three months ago, the less likelihood of a scandal. It was not a matter of her own reputation. She thought of her life as unimportant in the scheme of things, and was already planning to spend the rest of her time on earth doing what was best for her sisters, parents, the Gardiners, and of course, this babe she was carrying.
“Miss Elizabeth, Mr. Gardiner, please have a seat.” Mr. Darcy gestured to the two chairs on the other side of the fireplace.
Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner sat, and the others in the room looked expectantly at Mr. Gardiner. Elizabeth waited a few seconds and then began to speak. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge were startled that Elizabeth was to address them.
In choosing her dress that morning, she had debated whether she should call attention to her childish looks or appear more sober and mature. She had settled on appearing somewhere in between. Her gown was modest, but she noticed Mr. Darcy looking intently at her... possibly even admiringly. She was unsure at what he was staring. Was it her audacity to be speaking or was it her recently increased bosom that was capturing his attention. It was hard to tell with him, since he seemed to be trying to keep his expression regulated; but she did notice that he would move his eyes away from her only to have them return a few seconds later, and more often than not they were riveted on her décolletage. Good Lord, having him admire her had not been part of her plan! She had hoped to appear businesslike. The last thing she needed while she was carrying out these negotiations was to be worried about the other cousin getting lascivious thoughts. One likes them small, the other likes them big. What was wrong with this family?
She had practiced for days... schooling her face to show no emotion. She did not want to become emotional and let her words betray the anger she felt. “Lord Wolfbridge, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, I am with child. I was violated by the viscount three months ago in this very house. The baby I am carrying is the result of that encounter. I told no one of what happened here last March until my aunt and uncle made me tell them. I very much wanted to keep the incident secret from everyone. My father had only two expectations of me. He wanted me to remain chaste and not be silly. I experienced the ultimate humiliation that afternoon; I failed my father on both counts. Obviously I am no longer chaste. Even worse, I was incredibly silly.”
Elizabeth let her face relax into a very slight sneer; nothing too impertinent, but something that allowed her audience to know the disdain she felt for their status. “My silliness was exhibited in the pride I felt to be receiving attention from such great persons as you. All three of you come from prestigious and ancient families, and you, Lord Wolfbridge, will one day be a peer. I was flattered you would want to associate with a country lass like me. All I have to recommend me is a father who owns a minor estate and numerous relatives in trade.”
Her face went back to her unemotional mask as she continued. “I was not knowledgeable enough at the time to realize that a child could be the consequences of Lord Wolfbridge’s attentions. My aunt first noticed what was happening to me. I thought the sickness in the morning and the constant tiredness was caused by my sadness at failing my family. Unfortunately, the fact that I will soon be increasing forces me to disclose my circumstances to the three of you.”
The Darcys looked shocked, and Lord Wolfbridge merely looked annoyed at the news. Elizabeth did not hesitate, but focused a steely glance on the viscount and continued with, “You need not fear that I intend to force you to marry me, Lord Wolfbridge. I can assure you that event would be much more repulsive to me than it could ever be for you. My aunt and uncle thought marriage between us would be the best solution, but I was able to convince them that this baby deserves a better life than being saddled with a mother who will forever entertain fantasies of the father meeting Madame Guillotine, and a father who has already acted on his fantasies and now thinks the mother has as much significance as the last pheasant he shot.”
Elizabeth stood and positioned herself so Mr. Darcy could see her better. “The Gardiners and I have devised a plan which will allow the world to think this child is theirs. My parents know nothing, and will never know what happened here in this house three months ago, or that a baby was the result. Never fear - my uncle and I are both firmly rooted in the 19th century. We think it quite proper that duels have been outlawed. They are really only fashionable amongst those who are unable to see beyond the past. No one will ever call you out. I have no brother, and my father can barely see. I am, however, demanding six thousand pounds for my silence. You will give me my pound of flesh, or I will go to the Earl and Countess of Matlock and tell them all the sordid details of what happened between us. I will look and act as much like a child as possible. As you know, I love the theatre. I am a very good actress; and I will cry – I will blush – I will stammer – I will have trouble describing what happened; but believe me, in the end they will know just how depraved you are.”
Lord Wolfbridge smiled at Miss Elizabeth. He was trying to convince himself that he need not be afraid of this silly little girl taking her tale to his parents. His father knew of his indiscretions, just as he knew of his father’s, and he had always been able to convince his mother of his innocence in the past. Any women who had threatened exposure in the past were always clearly from outside their circles, and most were older. In his Oxford days, many were young, but then he was young, and none of those indiscretions were ever brought to his parents. He had paid whatever small remunerations were demanded out of his own spending money. It was only recently, he had become emboldened to lower the age of his prey. Each time he had felt compelled to make the game more dangerous.
In the past, his parents had just enough arrogance to believe the others had been avaricious in their intentions from the beginning. His father always admonished him to be more careful in his associations because they did not have the money to pay off every chit he compromised. On the other hand, his mother had originally believed he had just foolishly associated with the wrong people, but each time it happened, she became less forgiving. His mother was a Darcy, and was cursed with that ridiculous code of honour that had been passed down from generation to generation. She and his father were forever arguing over how to treat the tenants. Plus, she was a typical woman, and not much of a thinker.
Miss Elizabeth’s age and status was a concern. Her father was a gentleman. She was not a shopkeeper’s daughter as most of the others had been. She did look extremely young, and his mother would probably be influenced by her looks and the fact that she ended up with child. He was afraid, knowing his mother, she might insist he do the honourable thing and marry her; she was anxious for grandchildren. Miss Elizabeth was much more intelligent than any of his other conquests, and he was sure she could be very convincing. His mother had liked Miss Elizabeth when she met her. Oh well, he would just have to be a bit more facile and persuasive in his explanation. He was still quite adept at charming his mother.
Elizabeth looked right at Mrs. Darcy when she spoke next. “They will know how I happened to be in this house that day. They will be told how I happened to be alone with Lord Wolfbridge.” Anne Darcy turned deathly pale and gripped the arms of her chair. She looked at her husband and saw that he was looking at her questioningly. She quickly averted her eyes.
Anne was consumed with guilt. Over the months, she had convinced herself that Miss Elizabeth had not been compromised that day... she was just disappointed in love. She now steadfastly tried to believe the viscount had not planned to violate Miss Elizabeth. Why had she foolishly arranged for them to be alone? Edmund had told her he admired Miss Elizabeth and wanted a few moments for a private conversation. He had said he knew there could never be anything between them, but she deserved to know of his admiration. She was still very young, and knowing that a viscount thought her charming would be good for her confidence. Anne suddenly felt nauseous... what a fool she was for believing Edmund’s ridiculous lie.
Miss Elizabeth had always exuded confidence. She did not need Lord Wolfbridge to tell her she was charming. She was like no one Anne had ever met. She was an odd combination of ease and liveliness in conversation with new acquaintances of both sexes. She had confided in Anne that she thought herself too young to be out for the purpose of securing a husband... and marriage had clearly not been on her agenda. Why had she allowed her cousin’s charm to convince her to do something she knew to be nonsensical; only to find it was utterly dishonourable and immoral? What would Fitzwilliam think of her? There had to be a way to keep her role in this quiet.
Elizabeth’s next statement wiped the smirk from the viscount’s face. “My uncle does a great deal of business with a Mr. Harding. He is a wealthy manufacturer of textiles from Manchester. My uncle will make sure that Mr. Harding knows that you are not an honourable man, Lord Wolfbridge. He will particularly make sure he knows that he should be concerned for his daughter.”
Fitzwilliam Darcy could not believe the cold, calculating look in Miss Elizabeth’s eyes. They were still that amazing green colour, but the gold flecks seemed extinguished, and instead, her eyes glittered like emeralds. Her body was changing as well. Was that because she was with child? What an irony – the child becomes a woman as she carries the child. Five months after he met her, she looked much less like a child and much more like a woman... a calculating, mercenary but increasingly sensuous woman.
He had gone to the park on Gracechurch Street several times in the past months. He would sit on a bench on the other side of the park from where they generally played and just watch them. He had noticed she was not very lively and seemed to have to sit down much of the time while her cousins played. Twice he was sure she had seen him, so he left immediately. Why could he not conquer his concern for her? If only he had never met her, his life could go back to being predictable.
Anne had used the last few minutes to come up with a plan. She jumped up and said, “Lord Wolfbridge, will you take Mr. Gardiner and Miss Elizabeth to the drawing room? I need to talk to Mr. Darcy alone.”
With a slight sneer, Elizabeth looked from Lord Wolfbridge to Mrs. Darcy to Mr. Darcy and said, “I refuse to go to anywhere with Lord Wolfbridge. If you do not object, I will take my uncle to the solarium and show him the orchids. We will be there when you are ready for us to return.”
Darcy was annoyed and amazed at her audacity. She was going to show her uncle the orchids in the midst of this tempest.
Posted on Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Once they were gone, Anne said quite forcefully, “I want to give Miss Elizabeth twenty thousand pounds, and I want to raise this child as our own. Do not try to dissuade me; you know I brought much more than that into this marriage with my inheritance. Nobody else needs to know. She said they were not even telling her parents.
“Please stop looking so sceptical. We have been married for three years, and I have not become with child; and as you know, I am petrified of giving birth. This child is of our blood and can be our heir.” She spoke in a rush, not allowing Darcy to stop her words from tumbling out.
She took his hand and looked at him beseechingly. “Please Fitzwilliam, I want this child. Miss Elizabeth said they have a plan. We should be able to substitute ourselves for the Gardiners. You must also help me to coerce Edmund into giving Miss Bennet three thousand pounds. He will insist he can not afford such a large sum, but we both know the money is there if he economizes. What he has done is despicable. Please, please Fitzwilliam, this baby deserves to be part of our family.”
Darcy had indeed been looking quite sceptically at his wife. “Anne, what happened that day? What did she mean she would tell Uncle Henry and Aunt Cassandra how she came to be here that day?”
Anne tried to remain calm and give her answer nonchalantly. “I told you what happened when you questioned me before – the day she insisted on walking home. I had no knowledge anything had transpired. She came to see me, but I was not feeling well and left the room for a short while. When I came back, she was gone. I assumed she had left. I was unaware Edmund was in the house. I am bewildered as to why she thinks that news will have an impact on the earl and the countess.”
Darcy noticed that Anne seemed nervous and more than a little guilty – just as she had when he had first questioned her about Miss Elizabeth’s visit. He was sure he was not being told the full story, but he did not know what to do. Anne was probably right… they should raise the child. He felt a need for children; and it seemed as though he and Anne were not going to produce any in the near future… or maybe ever.
He was sure that this horrible event happened because of lack of supervision by the Gardiners; and it was now evident Miss Elizabeth had not been given proper guidance by her parents. She had given him some excuse why she was alone that day, but he could not remember. Edmund’s mother was his father’s sister, so this child had both Fitzwilliam and Darcy blood. It would be unconscionable to have this child raised by people in trade. The Gardiners had seemed intelligent, were dressed tastefully and had excellent manners when they met; but in the end, breeding always tells.
“I will agree, Anne; but I think the amount excessive. We should only give her ten thousand pounds.”
“Please, Fitzwilliam, do not argue with me. I want this baby, and I want to give her twenty thousand pounds… and I think it only right that Edmund give her three thousand.” Anne thought to herself that he may think twenty thousand excessive, but she knew it would truly be more appropriate to give her thirty thousand pounds… wasn’t thirty pieces of silver the price for betrayal?
Fitzwilliam shrugged his shoulder in acquiescence. “I will agree; but I want to spend as little time with Edmund as possible in the future. He will not be welcome to stay with us anymore. Regardless of whether the young woman agreed to be alone with him, helped with her buttons or consciously hoped to wrench filthy lucre from a viscount with poor control… I feel he has acted ungentlemanly. She is very young, and he had no business agreeing to whatever scheme her unstable mind concocted.”
“Fitzwilliam, I could not agree with you more. I wish I never had to see Edmund again. He is not honourable; and I can not believe I had always thought him so charming.” She turned her face away from her husband and fought back tears. She thought to herself… and I am as dishonourable as he is.
Mr. Darcy sought out Miss Elizabeth and her uncle in the solarium. As he entered, he overheard the two talking about what would be needed to build such a room. Darcy was annoyed that it appeared she was so sure of her success extorting money from them that she was already planning what she would do with her bounty. What a ridiculous extravagance. Miss Elizabeth obviously had no financial sense. It did seem strange that Mr. Gardiner seemed to be sharing her enthusiasm. He had seemed to be a particularly savvy businessman.
Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner followed Mr. Darcy back to the study. Anne was waiting for them with an apprehensive look on her face. She and Darcy had agreed that he would present their proposal. Anne held her breath waiting for husband to begin.
He put on his most serious and haughty mask and said, “Miss Elizabeth, Mr. Gardiner, we would like to present an alternate proposal. My wife and I would like to substitute ourselves for the Gardiners and raise this child as our own. This child would be our heir and have all the advantages we can provide. Just as with your plan, this child would appear to the outside world as ours. We are prepared to compensate you twenty thousand pounds and convince our cousin to contribute an additional three thousand pounds. We will also ensure complete secrecy. It would not be in any of our interest to have our plot known beyond ourselves.”
Elizabeth felt a surge of fury run through her body at Mr. Darcy’s words. For the first time that day, she could not keep her face from displaying her emotions. How dare they think she would sell this child to them? She had come to demand her due in return for her silence about the vicious and dishonourable behaviour of their family. Now he was standing here, casually proposing that she give them what had been conceived so brutally. She could tell by his demeanour that he cared nothing about what she had endured; and he and his disreputable wife only thought of solving their need for an heir for a measly twenty thousand pounds. Who did they think she was that she would allow this innocent and helpless child to be raised in a nest of vipers?
Elizabeth reined her features back to a placid countenance before she spoke. However, she was unsuccessful in keeping the fury from her eyes. “Your proposal is quite out of the question. You are not worthy of raising this child. I miscalculated. I thought you to be honourable; and would see the justice of paying me for my silence, but obviously I was wrong. If you are not willing to give me six thousand pounds for my silence, my uncle and I will be on our way. I hope I can at least expect you to be honourable enough to keep silent about my disgrace at the hands of your cousin.” Elizabeth noticed that her uncle appeared to think she was being too abrupt. Mr. Darcy looked confused and then angry, and Mrs. Darcy looked about to collapse.
Anne Darcy had tears in her eyes as she captured Elizabeth’s hand. “Please do not reject our proposal so quickly. I know there are many things that have not been said to explain why you should accept our proposal. Please, Mr. Gardiner, go with my husband. Leave me alone with Miss Elizabeth. I have things I need to tell her; things I should have told her long ago.”
The two men left Anne and Elizabeth in Mr. Darcy’s study. Mr. Gardiner gave Elizabeth a look that advised her to listen and not act precipitously as he left.
His look encouraged Elizabeth to allow Mrs. Darcy her private audience. She did not think there was anything she could say that would convince her to give this baby over to the Darcys, but perhaps she had acted hastily, and she should at least keep channels open in order to be successful in getting payment for her silence.
Anne twisted her handkerchief and looked forlorn as she began speaking. “Elizabeth, I want to apologize.”
Elizabeth stiffened at the use of her Christian name. She had given her permission, but was amazed she assumed she was still allowed despite her betrayal.
Anne saw her reaction and started again. “Miss Elizabeth, I want to apologize. I did not know what my cousin intended. He told me he wanted a private audience in order to tell you of his admiration. He knew there could never be anything between you; but he said he felt knowing of his admiration would give you confidence.”
Lizzy looked at Anne with utter contempt, and shook her head in disbelief.
Anne’s tone became one of pleading. “Miss Elizabeth, I know I should have been more discerning in acquiescing to my cousin’s request. I am not experienced in the ways of the world. My mother refused to allow me to have friends or attend the Season. I did not even have masters to teach me to be accomplished. My cousins were my only companions when I was growing up; and I was usually only in their company at Easter and Christmas. The two summers I spent at Pemberley were the most magical time of my life.”
Lizzy stared intently at Anne as she continued her explanation, but did not allow her face to register any emotion. “I went from my mother’s home to my husband’s. Mr. Darcy agreed to come to town with me this winter, but he eschews visiting acquaintances because he feels very ill at ease in London society. Lord Wolfbridge volunteered to help me become more comfortable. I have no experience with rakes, even though my husband did confide some rumours he had heard about our cousin. I knew not what to make of his disclosure since my cousin was always very charming toward me.”
When Anne’s pleading came to an end, Lizzy looked her straight in the eye and said, “Mrs. Darcy, I find your explanation oddly touching, but I think it a lie.”
Anne looked at the ground while she struggled to figure out how to convince Elizabeth she was not totally dishonourable and could be trusted with this baby. Her apology was sincere; but convincing her to relinquish the child was her main objective.
Elizabeth looked stern as she began making her speech. “Mrs. Darcy, I say you did not tell the truth because even if you believed your cousin, you can not convince me that you do not know the rules of propriety with regard men and women. It was totally improper to allow me to be alone with Lord Wolfbridge… even if all he did was talk to me and tell me of his admiration.” Lizzy rolled her eyes and sneered at the absurdity of Mrs. Darcy’s contention. “Being alone in his presence was enough to compromise me. If a servant had come in while we were alone together, we would have been gossiped about, and my reputation would have been in tatters. I have four sisters, and my father’s estate is entailed. Unlike you, we are not wealthy. Scandal would severely diminish my sisters’ chances of marrying; and without secure marriages, they would face reduced circumstances, possibly even poverty, when my father dies”.
Elizabeth noticed that Anne had looked back up, and she saw tears in her eyes, but was unmoved. She had shed enough tears to float one of Lord Nelson’s frigates in the past three months. She continued berating her, “Mrs. Darcy, my uncle had some investigations done; and he tells me you brought a great deal of wealth to your marriage, and I am sure you have a very generous allowance. You have opportunities I will never have. Once you were out of your mother’s house, you could have hired your own masters, made as many friends as you desired, and if nothing else… you could have read books about proper behaviour. Your husband is guardian to his sister. Surely he must know about propriety and could have answered your questions. Did you ask him if I should be left alone with Lord Wolfbridge?”
Anne looked frightened at the mention of her husband. “No, I did not ask him. He did not know much about our friendship, and did not know we were having tea that day. I once told him I liked you and hoped we could become friends; but he knew none of the particulars. My impression was that he did not want to talk of you. Never had I related what the circumstances of our friendship were and I fear he would be very angry with me if he knew what I had done. I do not want to lose his favourable, albeit, indifferent opinion. He is the opposite of Lord Wolfbridge. He takes honour and obligations very seriously. He is much like his father was; a very good man.”
Anne sat down and put her head in her hands. For several minutes there was silence. Finally, she spoke again. “I know you think I would not be a fit mother; and you would possibly be correct if I were to raise the child by myself. I am not alone though, and Mr. Darcy would be an excellent father, just as he is an excellent guardian to his sister. May I tell you about Mr. Darcy?”
Lizzy nodded and sat down in anticipation of Mrs. Darcy’s tale. Her anger toward Mr. Darcy had subsided. She still thought his arrogant manner unforgiveable; but for some reason, she had a desire to know about him. From the moment they had conversed at the theatre, she had felt some unknown emotion for him. It was more than thinking him handsome, but she could not discern what it was. She was unable to sketch his character.
“My mother’s sister, Lady Anne, was my husband’s mother, and Lord Matlock was their brother. The Fitzwilliams are an arrogant group, with a few exceptions. Lady Anne was an exception, as is Lord Wolfbridge’s brother, Richard. Lady Anne was publicly loyal toward her siblings; but my mother says in private she voiced her disapproval of both. She spent her youth reading, becoming proficient on the pianoforte, learning to sing and applying herself to becoming an accomplished young lady.”
Anne’s face became distorted by something bordering on contempt. “My mother thought those things unimportant. She decided she did not have to apply herself because she would be desirable as a marriage partner because of her appearance and her position. She now loves to tell everyone how she could have been supremely accomplished, but circumstances did not allow for that. What she should say is she was arrogant and indolent.”
Anne’s faced registered some misgiving as she continued. “I do not want to give you the impression that Lady Anne was not proud of her family. She was, and she had been my mother’s constant companion when they were young. As they grew older, they drifted apart because they wanted different things. Lady Anne wanted a loving husband and children, my mother wanted prestige and wealth, and their brother felt he was entitled to just about anything he desired. He was somewhat of a rake, and Lady Anne thought his behaviour toward women reprehensible. However, it was not the way in their family to talk about his actions outside.”
Anne pointed to a painting of a beautiful young woman dressed in the style of thirty years before that hung facing her husband’s desk. “That is she. My grandfather had this portrait and one of my mother painted just before they were presented at court. The artist was George Romney, and it certainly captures her beauty. I prefer the painting of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and a five year-old Fitzwilliam by Gainsborough that hangs in the portrait gallery at Pemberley. The three of them look so happy, and Gainsborough even included their dog, a beautiful spaniel that Fitzwilliam named Puck because he was so mischievous.”
Anne smiled at the painting for a few seconds and then turned to Elizabeth. “Mr. Darcy asked Lady Anne four times before she agreed to marry him. She was prejudiced against him because her brother wanted them to wed. Mr. Darcy and the earl had been acquaintances at Oxford. Lord Matlock wanted to marry Mr. Darcy’s sister, Cassandra, because she had a dowry of thirty thousand pounds. In order to facilitate his goal, he wanted his sister to marry Mr. Darcy because despite not being titled, he was very wealthy. The Fitzwilliams’ wealth had been diminishing with each generation; unlike the Darcys’. My uncle promoted the marriage between my parents for much the same reason.”
Anne chuckled at a memory from her youth. “According to my mother, Lady Anne enjoyed being in company with Mr. Darcy because they shared similar interests, but that did not stop her from refusing him. They were great readers, they were passionate about the theatre and they loved to ride; but she was convinced no friend of her brother could be honourable. She never disclosed to Mr. Darcy the source of her reluctance, so he just kept proposing. Each attempt was different.”
Anne got a sort of a dreamy look as she told the tale of her father-in-law’s final proposal. “Finally Uncle George won her over with his fourth proposal. He recited a detailed list of everything he loved about her. He counted the ways. I think there were at least twenty on the list. I do not remember all of them, but I remember several that she particularly liked. She loved to tell the story, and her eyes would twinkle as though there was something naughty about it. He told her he loved that she never came late to the theatre, and when there, she was not afraid to laugh out loud. He told her he loved the way she sipped her tea and he loved that she refused to bother with people of her sphere she did not find worthy. Her favourite one was, and she really twinkled when she related it, that he loved her excellent seat, and how impressive that was considering she had to ride side-saddle. He won her because not once on the list did he mention how beautiful she was. He had waxed poetic on her beauty numerous times in the other three proposals.”
Elizabeth thought the tale of Mr. Darcy’s parents interesting; but she really wanted to hear about Anne’s husband, so she decided to try humour to hurry her along. “Mrs. Darcy, this is all very interesting, but you told me you were going to tell me why Mr. Darcy is a good man, and why he would be a good parent. So far all you have told me about are his parents, your mother and the earl. Is this your way of turning the tables to get me to accede for your silence?”
Anne could not help herself and laughed at Elizabeth. “I apologize for the delay, but Mr. Darcy’s parents influenced his character just as my mother bears some responsibility for my failings.”
Clearing her throat, she began her tale again. “I told you earlier that I spent two magical summers at Pemberley. It was glorious because my mother was not there either summer, nor was the earl; but my Aunt Cassandra, the countess, came with Edmund and Richard. Those summers I got a glimpse at what family life could be like. The Darcy family was truly like the Gainsborough painting. They were happy. They rode together every morning and they took long walks together with their dogs. Lady Anne played every evening, and we all sang. My aunt and uncle would read to us, and they made the stories come to life by portraying the different characters. Fitzwilliam started reading with them when he was very young; and he would sometimes be a part of the story. Both summers we had a Midsummer picnic, and my aunt and uncle would be Titania and Oberon and the rest of us would be their fairy subjects. My husband let Edmund be Puck to get him to participate, but even with that plum role as an inducement, by the second summer he thought it unseemly for him to be a fairy. My cousin Richard and I thought it glorious; especially since my Aunt Cassandra made wings for us to wear.”
Anne noticed that Elizabeth was enjoying the depiction of the scene she had painted of their idyllic summer. She smiled at Elizabeth as she continued. “Mr. Darcy still grieves for his parents. I barely remember my father, so I have no idea what he feels. I do know if my mother died tomorrow, I would probably feel some sadness because she was my mother, but it would not last long. Mr. Darcy’s sadness is magnified by the extent of his loss. His longing to get back the joy he once felt consumes him at times.”
Anne made very sure she kept Elizabeth’s eyes focused on her as she continued. “He has tried to recreate that kind of joy for Georgiana, but he has not been altogether successful. His wounds have not healed, so he walks around with a face of stone. I think you have mistaken that look for arrogance. Currently, Georgiana is the only one who gets his love. Both of them need someone wholly unconnected to the past to take away their sadness. They need someone who could join them in their Darcy rituals of playing chess, reading Shakespeare, telling stories, doing voices, enjoying music, walking and riding. A baby would be both an obligation and a source of joy for Fitzwilliam. He is a man who rigidly honours his obligations; and I have seen him when he is joyful. I know he wants to be that way again. Remember back to the night he met you. That was the Fitzwilliam Darcy I knew before his mother died. He so dearly loved to laugh.”
Elizabeth was convinced. She prayed she was making the right decision. Her instincts were telling her she was. Mr. Darcy was a good man, and he would make sure this baby was both well provided for; and more important, loved. She felt a pang of regret that the child would not be in her life as it would have been had the Gardiners raised it. She was quite sure her pain would decrease… out of sight, out of mind… or at least she hoped that was the case. Her family needed this money. This was an enormous amount, and would solve many of their financial dilemmas. She had to be practical. The twenty three thousand pounds would allow her to take care of her mother and increase her sister’s dowries.
Posted on Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Mr. Gardiner had written to Mr. Bennet, telling him of an opportunity for Elizabeth in Derbyshire. An elderly widow friend of Mrs. Gardiner’s father and aunt, one Mrs. Thomas, needed a lively companion to read to her and write letters. She had been told of Elizabeth’s talent for reading and telling stories using voices by Mr. Davies; and once she had heard of her abilities; she had been determined to have no other. Elizabeth would be paid a thousand pounds to be her companion until just before Christmas. The widow Thomas was quite wealthy, and Aunt Gardiner’s cousin was her physician. She had been diagnosed with a chronic and degenerative illness and was not expected to live long. The unprecedented sum Elizabeth was to be paid was due to the finality of her circumstances and a desire to enjoy her last days. Elizabeth would be in a remote area of Derbyshire and would not be in any company but that of Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Gardiner’s family. Mr. Gardiner assured his sister and brother that this opportunity would leave no stigma of being in service on their daughter.
This elaborate charade would lay the basis for the inheritance Elizabeth would receive. The widow Thomas would be so taken with Lizzy that she would leave her a large sum that Mr. Gardiner would invest in order to secure Mrs. Bennet’s future.
Mr. Bennet had replied to Mr. Gardiner with doubts, but grudgingly agreed to let his favourite daughter, right arm and eyes delay her return to Longbourn. He agreed that the compensation was too great to be ignored. Elizabeth, sensing his displeasure, had written to her parents before leaving for Derbyshire with the hopes of assuring them this was the right decision.
July 14, 1806 - London
Dearest Mama and Papa,
I have heard from my aunt and uncle that you are concerned about my taking this position with the widow Thomas. I miss you and my sisters, but I am of the opinion this opportunity is fortuitous.
Mama, I know you will be angry with me, but I feel I am not ready to be out. London taught me that I am not yet comfortable in the presence of strangers. I know I would be a disappointment to you. I am not even sure I ever want to marry, but I do know for sure I am not ready now.
As Mrs. Thomas’ companion, I will be paid handsomely. The one thousand pounds in compensation will be a welcome addition to Jane’s dowry, I am sure. She deserves to make a great match because, unlike me, she is both good and lovely.
I am looking forward to seeing the peaks. Aunt Gardiner has promised me that her family will ensure I see some of the spectacular views in this country. You know how I love looking out from a high prospect. It always makes me wish I had learned to draw. If I had Kitty’s talent, I would be able to share the sights with you when I return for Christmas.
Papa, I am glad to hear Mary is such a success as a substitute for me. I am suspicious though, since I am sure she wrote your letter and is reading you mine. How am I to trust those are your true feelings? Please, for the good of the estate, you two should limit the time you spend arguing theology. One thing I am positive about is that she is even better at the accounts than I ever was. She has always been able to add things so quickly in her head, and as you know I always have to do my sums on paper.
Not to forget Lydia, please give her a kiss for me. Aunt Gardiner tells me Mr. Davies, her father, has a wonderful store that sells all manner of delightful things. Tell her I will be bringing gifts when I return.
Christmas will be here sooner than you know. It will be especially joyful to be reunited with my beloved family. We will truly have ourselves a merry little Christmas.
Your loving daughter,
Elizabeth knew she would have to be the consummate actress when she returned. It would be hard with what was ahead of her to be joyful at Christmas.
In the last week of July, the entire Gardiner family and Lizzy set out for Derbyshire. Mrs. Jones had left the day before with their luggage. Elizabeth had not had any additional clothes sent from Longbourn. Elizabeth’s bump was still quite small, and her gowns hid the evidence of her fall from grace quite well. She would have to deal with her wardrobe at some later juncture.
Thomas and Marianne had barely slept in anticipation of the journey. They had paraded around the house the night before, singing of the trip. “We are off to Derbyshire in the morn, in the morn” and “to Taid’s house we go, to Taid’s house we go, our trip will be delightful, to Taid’s house we go. Both Thomas and Marianne had a penchant for repetition. Mrs. Gardiner explained that Taid was an affectionate Welsh term for grandfather. The children had begged their parents to be allowed to take the dragon kite they had made to show him. Marianne had confided in her mother that she was looking forward to the journey because Cousin Lizzy, while still sad, had started using her voices again when telling stories.
Lizzy, for her part, had been reading up on Welsh mythology to add to her repertoire of stories. She particularly liked the story of Rhiannon. Even though she would have preferred to be home in Hertfordshire, her circumstances dictated the trip to Derbyshire, and she was determined to enjoy her time with Aunt Gardiner’s family.
Her aunt had prepared her by telling her a little about Mr. Davies’ Welsh heritage, his deep religious convictions as part of the Welsh Methodist revival movement and her family’s love for music. Lizzy learned that Dr. Wilder and his mother had been forced to abandon their estate in Ireland and seek refuge with her brother. There was a mystery about their departure that she had not been told, but she assumed all would be revealed in time. She was to live with the Wilders until the end of her confinement, when she would be secretly taken to Pemberley for the birth.
The trip was enjoyable with two stops at Inns for the night en route, as well as numerous stops to allow the children to run around and expend energy. Miraculously, the sickness in the morning and the excessive tiredness had disappeared. She was feeling much as she had before April, except she definitely was getting larger in places… not just her belly, but also her bosom, and even her hips and bottom. It was as if this child was forcing her to become womanly.
Lizzy and the children used their leg stretching time to full advantage. The weather was fine, and they played tag and leapfrog, and at one of the stops they watched a young man playing with a wooden disk on a string. The young man could make the disk magically go up and down, and Thomas was fascinated. The miraculous object was called a bandalore. When Thomas pointed out the young man to his parents, he was surprised to find that his father knew of the toy. He promised he would get one for him, and together they would learn how to make it spin up and down the string. Of course, Marianne insisted she too should get to play with the toy, and even Lizzy wished she would be able to learn to create such magic that seemed to defy Newton’s laws of gravity.
On one leg of the journey, the children napped and Elizabeth had the chance to peruse her letters from home. Despite the letter to her father from Mr. Gardiner and her letter to her parents, her family continued to be concerned with her absence. Jane, in particular, seemed perturbed. She chastised Elizabeth for not being at home to be her confidante. Her relationship with Jane was what Elizabeth regretted most about her situation. Before she learned she was with child, all she dreamed of was being home and unburdening her soul to her sister. Now that would never be.
Elizabeth was excited when the first sight of the famous peaks came into view. She knew they were getting close, and she wondered at the myriad of changes that had happened to her in the last five months. She thought about all that she had lost, but was resolved that she would not allow herself to be defeated. She would never have the life she dreamed of that night at the performance of The Tempest, but she would prevail… she would survive. She was apprehensive of what she would experience next, but whatever it was, she was determined to become stronger because of it.
When they arrived at Mr. Davies house, there was a letter waiting for Elizabeth from Jane. Lizzy put the letter in her pocket to wait until later to read. She was anxious to hear her sister’s news. Her last letter had told her of Mr. George Trent, who was Tom and Becky’s cousin. The thought came to her that her relationship with her sister would prove to be another example of collateral damage from the viscount’s violation.
Mr. Davies was just as her cousins had described him. He was not a particularly large man, but his presence seemed huge. Elizabeth thought it was because his head was very leonine; and his voice did indeed boom. She could almost hear him singing the hymns Mrs. Gardiner had told her he loved so dearly. The house was as large as Longbourn and was called Taliesin. The housekeeper was Mrs. Jones’ daughter. She herself was also Mrs. Jones, and she looked like a younger version of her mother. Old Mrs. Jones, as everyone in Mr. Davies house now referred to her, had arrived the day before from London.
Elizabeth asked her aunt if Mrs. Jones was offended by being called Old Mrs. Jones. Elizabeth soon got a lesson in Welsh culture when Mrs. Gardiner explained that since there was a paucity of surnames in Wales, it was not at all uncommon to put some identifier in front of or behind the name. She told the story of her grandfather, who had emigrated with her father from Merthyr Tydfil when her father was a young man. Her Taid had been known in Merthyr Tydfil as one-eyed Mr. Davies because he had lost an eye due to an accident when he was a child. The whole practice seemed a bit rude to Elizabeth, but she decided when in Rome, do as the Romans do, should be her outlook.
Within hours, everyone in the household had taken the liberty of calling her Betty bach. Her aunt told her it meant little Betty which was a favourite diminutive of Elizabeth in Wales.
Young Mrs. Jones showed Elizabeth to her room. She was to stay here only a few days. On Sunday, she would go with the Wilders to their house. She wondered what kind of adventures she would have there. Young Mrs. Jones had told her that her sister Mrs. Hinton was both the Wilder’s housekeeper and a midwife who worked with Dr. Wilder.
When she retired for the night, she took out Jane’s letter.
July 20, 1806 - Longbourn
Dear Sister,
Elizabeth scoffed at the absurdity of her sister’s statement. If she only knew how poorly she had judged the motives of Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy.
Tom’s cousin, George Trent, has come back to stay at Netherfield. He intends to stay through Michaelmas. As you know, he will one day inherit the Baronetcy. I am sure you remember from his last sojourn in Hertfordshire two years ago, that he looks and has mannerisms much like Tom. Just as before, he has paid a great deal of attention to me at the assemblies and the house parities. If you were here, you would be able to sketch his character and tell me whether he is sincere or not. This time with the pain of Tom’s death less pressing on me, I must admit I find him very pleasing. Mama is forever telling me how much he admires me, and she is sure he is going to make an offer. She gushes on about how I will be the Mistress of Netherfield as I was always intended to be.
Unfortunately, I am not certain he is going to make an offer. I have this doubt about his intentions. You remember the last time he was here, he wrote some lovely sonnets for me, and he was and is forever telling me in poetic terms about my great beauty. He loves to read poetry to me, and I must admit he does have a beautiful voice. He puts great feeling into the words, but somehow it is not the same as the expressions of love I received from Tom. Please don’t chastise me. I am aware both of us were very young and propriety would dictate against expressions of love, but they were made nonetheless.
Elizabeth stopped to ponder Jane’s comment on propriety. Lately she had been thinking how ridiculous most of the conventions of proper behaviour were. They seemed to be at odds with reality. Elizabeth knew there had been the deepest love between her sister and Tom since they were four and five respectively. She was very sure they had never had any intentions of violating God’s holy ordinances, but she was also sure they had needed to tell each other of their love and admiration… even when too young by society’s standards for such confidences. She returned to her sister’s letter with a feeling of regret that she could not help her with her dilemma.
In this way, George Trent is the opposite of Tom, and it confuses me. I think I could have been quite plain and Tom still would have loved me. He was not overly romantic, and he was so very practical; but the things he told me made me feel very sure about the depth of his feelings. He told me the Luna Moth you and I caught for him was the best present he had ever received. He told me someday we would make a wonderful life together and that we would make Netherfield a great estate again. He once left a note for me in the tree that was our childhood hiding place for treasures. He had written that he thought the goodness of my soul shone from my eyes. He left a rosebud with the note. Because of my love for the scent of flowers, he told me he was going to take me to Grasse some day. I will forever cherish the last thing he ever told me as we were out riding the day he became ill. It was such a small compliment, but so dear because he truly meant it. He told me he admired my seat, and he admired it all the more because I had to ride sidesaddle. After he complimented me, I could see the happiness on his face thinking of riding together for the rest of our lives.
Her last statement shocked Lizzy. Jane had never revealed this piece of information to her sister before. It was almost word for word what Mr. Darcy’s father had told his mother in his final proposal. This thought distracted Elizabeth from her sister’s plight and brought to mind the couple that would raise her child. She wondered why Mr. Darcy, whose parents obviously loved each other deeply, had decided to marry for convenience.
Mr. Thatcher had revealed to the Gardiners and Elizabeth that Mrs. Darcy’s mother had been telling anyone who would listen since shortly after her sister’s death that she had wanted the two to wed. Rumour had it that Mr. Darcy’s father disputed her contention. Mr. Thatcher further told them that both Mr. Darcy and Mrs. Darcy had inherited great estates, and that Mr. Darcy had recently taken on the responsibility of running both of them. Was it greed? Would her child be raised to value wealth above all else? What did Mrs. Darcy mean that the way he was that night at the theatre was what he was like as a young man? Why had he stopped smiling and laughing, and why had he given up trying to attain joy and love? Not being able to come to any kind of resolution to the conundrum caused Elizabeth to put those thoughts aside and return to Jane’s letter.
Elizabeth, please come home. I need you. Mama is putting so much pressure on me to encourage George Trent, but Becky says that I should be careful. She thinks her cousin admires me, but she also says she fears he needs to marry for money. I have great anxiety that my heart is going to be broken again. If that happens, what will I do without you to comfort me.
Your loving sister,
PS, I am sorry I said I hesitate to call you dear. You are the dearest thing in my life.
Elizabeth crawled into bed and sobbed. Yes, Lord Wolfbridge had robbed her of much more than her chastity. When there were no more tears, she lay there waiting for sleep, and thought about asking Mr. Davies to help her in procuring something she had been thinking about for some time. She wanted a sturdy knife she could carry with her wherever she went.
Elizabeth took to the Wilders immediately. Dr. Wilder and his mother, along with Mrs. Jones’ other daughter, Mrs. Hinton, and her husband and children came to Mr. Davies' on Sunday afternoon. All the family at Taliesin had gone to church that morning, but the afternoon would be devoted to another service in Mr. Davies home. Their society or fellowship was still a part of the Church of England, but definitely at odds on many tenets of faith. They were known as Jumpers because of their habit of jumping for joy during services. Elizabeth had heard of Quakers and Shakers, but never Jumpers.
The sermon Mr. Davies preached for the group seemed much more passionate than any she had encountered at Longbourn church. He preached in Welsh, so Lizzy had no idea what he was saying. She periodically looked over at her Uncle Gardiner, and they exchanged quizzical glances. Thomas and Marianne had been given permission by their mother to join in the jumping of Mrs. Hinton and her two children as well as several other members of the fellowship.
Mrs. Hinton’s children were Griffith, a boy slightly younger than Thomas, and a girl, Angharad, slightly older than Marianne. Old Mrs. Jones had taken possession of her newest grandson, Morgan, only a month old. Lizzy was fascinated by how tiny he was. She was particularly amazed by his fingers and realized in less than five months, she would hold a baby even smaller.
Music was also very important to the service. Young Mrs. Jones played the hymns beautifully on the pianoforte. The tunes all seemed to be in a minor key and were beautiful with a haunting, melancholy sound. Mrs. Wilder accompanied her on the harp, and Dr. Wilder contributed with an instrument he called an Irish whistle.
Mrs. Gardiner took her cousin Jamie for a walk after the services. She did not want to be overheard by anyone, especially Lizzy. “Jamie, I am very worried. She is very young, and so very small. How much danger is she in? Her parents will never forgive us if anything happens to her.”
“She is small, but she looks sturdy, and her rosy complexion is an indication of health. Maddie, tell me about her mother.” Jamie led his cousin to a bench around the side of the house.
“Her mother had five babies, and she told me before Thomas was born that they were all relatively easy births. All were born within six hours of her pains beginning. Her mother likes to complain about imaginary ailments, but she has always seemed quite proud of her ability to deliver easily. What she was always saddened by was that she never had a male offspring. She felt very much that she failed on that score.”
“Has Lizzy ever been ill?”
“I think my sister said that she had measles when she was two. In general, all of the Bennet girls are remarkably healthy. I would not worry about Lizzy, except that she is young and tiny. She is very sad about her circumstances, but we have seen her rally a bit since she got the assurance of a significant amount of money from the Darcys. What is your opinion of them?”
Jamie Wilder looked thoughtful as he said, “He appears to be a very good man, and very serious about being honourable. I was surprised when you wrote about this business. The Darcy family is very well respected in Derbyshire. I am sure you remember the same from when you lived here. Both of Mr. Darcy’s parents were greatly loved by their tenants and staff… the same is true of the son. I have not heard much about the present Mrs. Darcy. The prevailing gossip in the area wonders why he made a marriage of convenience, especially since his parents were gossiped about because they appeared to everyone to be very much in love with each other.
Madeline Gardiner laughed at her cousin. “Jamie, how did you become so knowledgeable of all the gossip in Derbyshire, and particularly about the goings on at Pemberley?”
Jamie’s eyes could not hide the mirth he felt at his cousin’s question, but he tried to answer her with a sober face. “It is a hazard of my profession. People just seem to want to tell me things. They are sick, or a loved one is sick, and they feel vulnerable, so they talk. As you know, Lord Hughes is one of my closest friends, and his steward, Mr. Reynolds has also become a friend. Mr. Reynolds is Mr. Darcy’s housekeeper’s brother. He is very knowledgeable about the goings on at Pemberley. He does not talk about anything improper, but he definitely is very aware of how the staff and tenants feel about Mr. Darcy.”
“Well, Cousin, the information you have imparted makes me hopeful the child will have a good life. I hope Lizzy is able to come to terms with the advantages of the Darcys raising the baby. I worry that she will come to regret the decision; and at times I catch her with her hand on her stomach and a faraway look on her face. I know she has bonded with this babe, even before she has felt it move. However, my biggest fear is that something will happen to her during childbirth.
Jamie gave his cousin a hug and when he released her, a huge grin crossed his face, and he said, “Do not worry, Bronwyn Hinton will feed her the most delicious food and make her strong, Mother will play for her and soothe her savage breast, I will charm her with my delightful Irish wit and she will be so distracted she will forget her troubles.”
Madeline Gardiner punched her cousin’s arm and he doubled over in feigned pain. She was glad he seemed much more cheerful about his own sadness than the last time she had seen him.
Elizabeth was tearful in the carriage after she said goodbye to her aunt, uncle and cousins. She knew she would see them once more the following Sunday, before they returned to London, but she also knew moving to the Wilder’s house was one more door closing. She was in the wilds of Derbyshire, among strangers, and knew not what to expect of the future. She turned her head so that Dr. and Mrs. Wilder could not see her tears.
Dr. Wilder knew she was crying but did not disturb her. He was very familiar with the need of those in pain to shed tears as a way to find comfort. She was a very courageous young woman. Mr. Gardiner had told him the story of her confronting the Darcys and Lord Wolfbridge to demand money. He liked that she had a bit of the rebel in her.
The Wilders' house appeared to Lizzy to be something out of a children’s storybook. It looked like a cottage, but was much larger. Again the house was almost as large as Longbourn and was made entirely of grey stone. The front door was surrounded by an arbour of pink roses and there were beds of colourful flowers on both sides of the door. Elizabeth saw Holly Hocks in the back, fronted by Sweet William, Lilies, Alyssum and Fox Glove to name just a few. Mrs. Wilder told her that the flowers were her indulgence, and that Mrs. Hinton had a serious vegetable and herb garden in the back. She alluded to the fact that Mrs. Hinton was an amazing cook.
The house was shared by the Wilders and the Hintons. There also seemed to be little in the way of distance between master and servant. They seemed to function quite cooperatively, with a division of labour to keep the house running. Mrs. Hinton cooked, tended the kitchen garden and did some of the cleaning. Mrs. Wilder did some of the cleaning, kept the accounts and ordered supplies. Actually, she made lists and Mr. Hinton would go into Lambton and get what they needed. A woman came in twice a week to do laundry. The two men did the heavy lifting such as carrying the buckets of hot water for baths.
Reliable transportation was crucial to Dr. Wilder’s practice. They had two carriages, a curricle and six horses because of Dr. Wilder’s needs. Keeping everything running smoothly in the stables was Ferrell Hinton’s main responsibility. He was the son of the blacksmith in Lambton. His brother was due to inherit his father’s business, but Ferrell had learned from childhood to be a master blacksmith and ironworker. He could fashion almost anything from iron, and got many orders for decorative gates and even specialty cookware.
He had made his wife a Madeleine pan. She had learned to make the delectable little sea shell shaped cakes while working in the kitchens at Bryn Mawr, Lord Hughes’ estate. Elizabeth quickly grew to love the cakes, and Mrs. Hinton made them a regular at tea to please their Betty bach.
Mr. Hinton’s fifteen year-old sister had been staying at the house after Morgan’s birth to care for Griffith and Angharad. In order to ensure secrecy for Elizabeth, she had been sent back to Lambton, and Elizabeth was given the job of watching the two older children. Elizabeth was pleased when she was requested to help with Morgan. She felt proud she was contributing.
Elizabeth enjoyed being a part of this household. There was a calm atmosphere that was missing from Longbourn. Their existence seemed to be ruled by Ecclesiastes and the verses she had loved since childhood. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” This was a house that brought life into the world and eased the pain of those who were about to leave.
Elizabeth quickly came to admire Dr. Wilder. He was not the most handsome of men, but he was in many ways the most pleasing man with whom she had ever been acquainted. He was of average height, with very dark hair and eyes. He explained the concept of “Black Irish,” but said his colouring probably came from his Welsh ancestry. Both his mother and Mr. Davies had the same colouring before their hair had become silver. Like both of them, he had an imposing mien with very pronounced features. In the end, he seemed one of those personages that were larger than life.
Elizabeth best liked the fact that he always knew how to accommodate his demeanour to fit the mood of his audience. Elizabeth determined it was an important trait for a physician. He was forever pulling her out of the doldrums with his wit and humour.
When he found out she was interested in the French Revolution, he gave her book after book to read, and spent much of their time together giving her history lessons. He related history much the way she told stories. It was not something dry and boring, or even her father’s cynical interpretation; instead it was interesting and exciting. She also came to realize he was passionately partisan to one side or the other in the information he relayed.
Within days of her arrival at his house, she became Lizzy to him, and he became Jamie to her.
Dr. Wilder and Mrs. Hinton visited Mrs. Darcy once a fortnight to reinforce the belief that she was with child. The first time they visited after Elizabeth’s arrival, Mr. Darcy invited Dr. Wilder to join him in his study for a conference.
Mr. Darcy looked a bit uncomfortable as he asked Dr. Wilder a few questions. He started by asking after Miss Elizabeth’s health and whether the trip to Derbyshire had been taxing for her; but then he began asking what Dr. Wilder considered to be very inappropriate questions. He knew he must not allow Mr. Darcy to know he disapproved, but it was the first time in his acquaintance with the man that he thought him to be less than honourable. Dr. Wilder kept his face immobile as Mr. Darcy asked, “Does Miss Elizabeth seem happy about the circumstances of receiving payment? Does she talk about what she plans to do with the money?”
Dr. Wilder replied, “No, I have not heard her refer to the money at all. We have been quite enjoying ourselves discussing history. She spends her time looking after Mrs. Hinton’s children and reading. Did you know she is an amazing story teller? I am not sure what the children will do when she goes away; they have quite fallen in love with her. She is still able to run and play with them, but I assume that will be coming to an end soon.”
Dr. Wilder continued, his face devoid of the disapproval he felt. “She is reading Edmund Burke’s Reflections on the Revolution in France. I get the feeling she does not agree with him. She grimaces as she reads, and sometimes she even mumbles something about his ridiculous theory of prejudices and snorts.” Dr. Wilder smiled inwardly as he decided he would take a little liberty with his reflections. He said, “She is a very courageous young woman, and she seems to be determined to come through her ordeal stronger. I am sure that your investment will be safe.”
Mr. Darcy stiffened at his disclosure. He was very aware that Dr. Wilder’s comments made him appear to be somewhat less than gentlemanly.
During the following week, Mr. Davies brought over two bandalores that Mr. Gardiner had sent for Elizabeth and Jamie to learn to use, and perhaps then teach Griffith and Angharad. It took them a few days to master the toys, but soon they had gotten quite proficient at making the disks fly up and down the string. Elizabeth had even developed a technique where she would spin the disk out horizontally. The children had been promised that they could begin to learn on the morrow.
Lizzy and Jamie were practicing their bandalore skills in the front yard to be prepared for their students the next day. Besides practicing, they were discussing the slave revolt in Saint-Domingue that had eventually led to the establishment of Haiti, the first black republic, two years before, in 1804. They discussed the tremendous fear that the successful slave rebellions and the retaliation against the white plantation owners had sent through the colonies. Jamie told Lizzy about the slaves great military commanders Toussaint L’Ouverture and Jean-Jacques Dessalines. As they talked, unconsciously both would punctuate their comments with the bandalore.
Lizzy was deep in thought as she started to comment on what Jamie had told her. “I would think the success of the slave revolts in Haiti would hasten the abolition of the slave trade, and maybe even slavery itself in the colonies. They are, I have heard, debating these issues in Parliament. Some day slavery will be gone with the wind… and to my mind, whenever it happens will not be a moment too soon.”
Just as she said, “not be a moment to soon,” she unleashed her bandalore, and it flew out on a swift horizontal flight and then came back to her with a snap. They had been so engrossed in their conversation, that neither had seen Mr. Darcy arrive. Elizabeth’s bandalore just missed hitting Mr. Darcy at a spot about six inches below his waist. She was mortified. Dr. Wilder could tell she was mortified, but he also realized she was too naïve to understand the significance of her target. Dr. Wilder could barely repress a smile at the thought of her actually hitting that spot. Silently he chastised himself… he was, after all Mr. Darcy’s physician.
A startled Mr. Darcy jumped back. Once again, Miss Elizabeth had bewildered him. He had expected to see her gleefully making plans to build her solarium or perhaps talking about buying gowns and bonnets galore, but instead she was discussing slavery and slave rebellions while being amazingly competent with a toy he had never seen before. She wore no bonnet, and her complexion glowed with health and a slight tan. He could see the slight protrusion in the front of her dress, and once again noticed she continued to look more womanly.
Elizabeth’s look of mortification gave way to a look of confusion as to why Mr. Darcy was there, and Dr. Wilder wondered if there was something he did not know about this arrangement.
Chapter 12 – I’d Rather Be a Hammer than a Nail…Yes I Would…if I Only Could
Chapter 13 - Her Pound of Flesh
Chapter 14 – A Good Man is Hard to Find
Chapter 15 – A Tale of Two Families
Chapter 16 – The Unsinkable Elizabeth Bennet
Elizabeth
I hesitate to even call you dear. I do not understand why you have abandoned me. I need you desperately, and you are off enjoying yourself in Derbyshire. I know you told Papa that you would contribute the money you receive to my dowry, but I would much prefer to have you here to help me make sense of all the emotions I am experiencing. Mama says you are off on your contrary way, proclaiming you do not want to be out. I had so hoped after a brief sojourn in London, you would come home, and I could rely on you to help me navigate this unfamiliar terrain. You are so wise about evaluating the motives of others. I am sure it is all the reading you have done..
JaneChapter 17 – Lizzy Gets by with a Little Help from her Friends