Posted on Wednesday, 20 September 2006

The five Bennet ladies were walking back to Longbourn from Meryton where they had discovered some startling information. Lt. Denny had felt it necessary to inform them of the actions of his now former friend Mr. Wickham. Suffice it to say, they were all shocked by the massive debts and the other less savory accusations.

Each reacted differently though. Jane, who never liked to think ill of anyone, asked if there could be some kind of mistake to which she received a very adamant “no.” Elizabeth began to think that perhaps she had been mistaken regarding Mr. Darcy’s character as she began to believe that Mr. Wickham had lied to her. Mary professed her opinions on judging one’s character in a short time. Kitty was upset to learn of this, but was very happy to grant Lt. Denny’s request to walk to Longbourn with them. Lydia simply “harrumphed” and said there were other officers just as handsome and it meant nothing except she would have nothing to do with Wickham.

They were all chatting amiably, when Mr. Wickham came riding by much to their chagrin.

Wickham had discovered his character was out in the open and worried that people would change their opinions about Darcy. So, he decided if his reputation was ruined in Meryton, he would be sure that Darcy would never be able to set foot there again. He would start rectifying this situation by talking with the Bennets.

“Why do you not leave, Wickham? They already know your character as do I. So why bother come after them?” Lt. Denny demanded. Kitty smiled at him.

“Because, if they know of mine, they might as well know of the characters of others of their acquaintance, namely Mr. Darcy.” Wickham smirked.

“What makes you think we would believe you now?” Elizabeth queried angrily. She did not like being mislead.

“You should if you know what is good for you.”

“Don’t you dare threaten us, Mr. Wickham!” Cried Lydia.

“Oh really, I wasn’t threatening any of you, just giving you some friendly warning.”

“There didn’t sound to be much difference.” Mary stated matter-of-factly

Just then Lydia screamed as she saw a snake come out of the brush. Her scream spooked Wickham’s horse which reared up. Unprepared for such a sudden change, Wickham fell off. While the fall itself did not damage, where he landed was a problem. For Lydia’s scream had landed Wickham right in the middle of an ant hill.

Naturally, Wickham was stunned for a moment when he hit the ground, but that was all the time the ants needed. They moved in on him crawling into his clothes.

Wickham’s eyes widened as he realized what had happened. He leapt up and started to jump around in an attempt to get rid of the ants.

The Bennets and Lt. Denny began to laugh or giggle. Lydia was even rolling on the ground she was laughing so hard. Elizabeth had to lean onto a nearby tree as well. Jane and Mary tried valiantly not to laugh, but were unsuccessful. Kitty hung onto Lt. Denny’s arm, both attempting not to fall over, they were laughing so much.

Realizing the ants were not coming out this way. Wickham took off running. He may not be much of a gentleman, but he was gentleman enough not to scratch the areas he so desperately wanted to while in front of ladies.

Eventually, finding a little wooded area he jumped into it to hid as started to take off the uniform to shake out the ants. However, he did not realize that the area in the back of the little area he was in was open to the road.

It just happened that Lady Catherine was traveling through the neighborhood and was passing on that particular road. Seeing the person jumping around and flinging clothes around, she started screeching.

Wickham spun around turning a shade rivaling a tomato. Thankfully, or not so thankfully when you consider the ant problem, he had only gotten his coat and shirt off. His eyes widened as he met Lady Catherine’s eyes. Just then, she started yelling at him before ordering her driver to continue on. Her shouts of reporting this to the officer in charge of the Militia and how disgraceful people were acting these days and so on filled the air as she left.

Thus, Wickham grabbed his clothes and took off again. He did eventually find a place to get rid of the ants, though his pride and dignity was terribly damaged.

Wickham never returned to Meryton to face the humiliation that was bound to wait there. Much to his chagrin however, he found that Lady Catherine’s shouts had spread the word of what had happened all the way back to Kent. Thus, he decided to leave England behind forever.

The End